The Day of the Pollswagen
Posted on January 6th, 2017

By Lucien Rajakarunanayake Courtesy The Island

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Did I hear you mention about the Volkswagen Era?

No, no, it is not Volkswagen – it is Pollswagen.

I’ve never heard of that. Where is Pollswagen made?

Here in Sri Lanka, beginning at Wayamba – you may even call it the Wayambawagen.

Now tell me, is this a wholly new vehicle you are talking about?

There is nothing new about it, it is part of the political wagon we are used to, but it has the special qualities of what is known as Good Governance of Yahapalanaya.

What are these special qualities?

It’s difficult to get it going, that is the main feature. When it does get going it is in the wrong direction.

But why call it the Pollswagen?

Because it is all about polls – just now it is mainly about local government polls.

What has this Pollswagen got to do with local government polls?

It begins with delimitation, and the related delays. Just now the Pollswagen is only moving in reverse gear. It will certainly take much time to get it moving forward. There will have to be many more changes in the Delimitation Gear Box, and the Political Clutch Plates will also need attention.

But with Yahapalana having completed two years, why is it taking so long to make the Pollswagen to move forward? Is it not possible to give it a push to get going?

You don’t really understand the problem. There are two drivers in Yahapalana, who are trying to move in different directions. Those in the Pollswagen Garage are divided. To make things worse, one group is looking towards the Pavulwagen or Family wagon days of the Rajapalana. Those were the days of the Korruptwagen.

Why are they thinking of the Pavulwagen today, after that wagon was defeated twice in the polls?

That is a stuff of many in the Pollswagen Garage – attracted by the Pavulwagen leader who has dreams of defeating Yahapalana this year.

You mean we are fast moving towards a Dreamwagen?

You may not be wrong. The Dreamwagen driver can’t wait till the next polls, which are due only in 2020. There are many things that can happen to the Pollswagen of Good Governance before that

The Pollswagen name can change depending on where and what the politics is. Just now it is all about delaying Local Government Polls.

What next?

There is the need for a Constitutional Poll – what’s called a referendum. There are many in Yahapalanaya who are scared of even the idea of a Referendwagen.

So the people who voted for a new constitution and removal of the Executive Presidency will be stuck in the same old wagon they voted against?

Looks like it: Except for a few changes in the hope of fooling the people, who are being fooled about it from all sides just now.

Does the Pollswagen have anything to do with what we hear about Hambantota?

I think the name will have to be changed to Portswagen. Because what’s happening there involves two ports – a harbor and an international airport?

Who are the Volks involved in this Portswagon?

The Hambantota Volk, are making a huge noise just now, and those involved with the Dreamwagen are giving them all support.

The Hamban Volk say they are worried about the arrival of ChinoVolk – who are said to manage the harbour, and have trading facility in the airport – on a very long lease. Some say the lease is as long as the Dream River of the ChinoVolk leader.

Doesn’t this look like the joining of two great dreams?

What do you mean?

Have you forgotten that the Dreamwagen Leader was one who had very close links with the ChinaVolk, before he was e defeated? Will it not be possible that the Pollswagen or Portswagen leaders of Yahapalanaya may have to make way for the link of these two dreams at Hambantota?

Well, that is certainly something for me to dream about, and most like to bring nightmares to the Pollswagen drivers flying the Green and Blue flags.

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