By Lucien Karunanayake Courtesy The Island

The ever-dwindling Yahapalana Kattiya involved in Pubudimu Polonnaruwa and Colombata Kelimu were thinking of inviting Imran Khan for his first official visit abroad as Pakistan’s Prime Minister to Sri Lanka, to give support to his pledge to fight corruption.

“What will be the theme of our invitation”, asked Yahapala.

“That is simple. We were the first South Asian country to elect a government with a commitment to fight corruption. This could even be considered an aspect of SAARC cooperation. Surely Imran Khan will be able to gain a lot from our achievements,” said Yamapala.

“What are the main achievements we can convey to him?”

Imran Khan

“We must tell him about the soft-touch and kid-glove approach. We gave a pledge to fight corruption, but not to get rid of the forces of corruption.”

“Do you think Imran Khan will be interested in a kid-glove approach? Don’t forget that he is a World Cup winner in Cricket. He will want to see a real fight,” said Yahapala.

“Come on we are also a World Cup winning country, and our winning captain is in the Government,” said Yamapala.

“But is there any record we can present of how we have fought corruption, in keeping with the pledge we gave to the people,” asked Yahadasa.

“Come on. We are a country with a South Asian culture. It is a culture of Corruption, which helps politicians to give pledges to fight it; but make sure it remains for others to make similar promises. The Culture of Corruption in the stuff of South Asian politics and governance. Imran Khan must understand that,” said Pagapala.

“Look, are we serious about this invitation. He has given the Pakistani people a pledge to fight corruption, and take it out of government. We must show him something. Don’t we have any example of how we carried out the pledge given to our people, even though the stuff of corruption is still in our system?” asked Yahapala.

They continued to discuss the text of the Yahapalana Invitation to the new Pakistani Prime Minister, when Pagamaruva came up with a new idea.

He said, “Look, if he is to learn anything, it will be from our failures. Let us show him what we have tried to do, and how we have failed. We had so much of failures in the past three years; Imran Khan will certainly have a lot to learn here.”

“Sounds interesting. What shall we start with?” asked Yahapala.

There was a quick response from Pagaranga. “We can organize a great welcome to Imran Khan. Have a special show of the Rajapaksas Pavula. Invite them as the power that prevails in this country, and the possible power of the future, too. That will be a real South Asian Paga Renguma.”

“Don’t you think that is giving a new celebratory place to the Rajapaksas?” asked Yamapala.

“There is something we must understand. The Rajapaksa are now going about with flying colours, thanks to the repeated failures of Yahapalanaya. So why not give them some more celebrations. We can show how Namal and his brother displayed their handcuffs when leaving the courts, just like family jewels.

“There is more. We can show how the Rajapaksa leader went so often to the Remand Prison to visit those held under suspicions or corruption…It may even awaken a new mood to fight corruption in the country. Imran Khan will surely be impressed,” said Pagaranga.

Yahapala had to raise a question. “What is the point of all this, if we can’t show him anyone who has been caught and punished for corruption, in keeping with our pledge to the people?’

“Come on, pledges and performance are different things. He will learn that catching the crooks is not easy. He may even begin to re-think his own pledges to the Pakistani people. Which means the Culture of Corruption in South Asia will be further strengthened,” said Pagamaruva.

After further discussion, the Yahapalana Kattiya concluded that Imran Khan be invited here for a special ceremony to make the Culture of Corruption, an operational policy of South Asian Governance, and included for adoption at the next meeting of the SAARC countries.

“Sri Lanka will have the honour of proposing this to the SAARC members and Yahapalana will have a great day of glory,” said Pagaranga.

Meanwhile, Arjuna Mahendran and Udayanga Weeratunga will have more celebrations in their foreign hangouts, far away from Sri Lanka’s fight against corruption, if there is any such fight.