A Nobel Laureate!
Posted on December 4th, 2010

Dr Bandula Kothalawala London N7

Since the launch of the series of Wiki Leaks’ “revelations”, Hillary Rodham Clinton has busied herself with apologising profusely to US allies for unflattering comments contained in diplomatic cables. Indeed, the amazing fluidity with which apologies roll off her forked tongue is no mean achievement in itself even for a prima donna of her ilk.  Apologetics has become her favourite literary genre, at least, for the moment. Thanks to Wiki Leaks, Hillary Clinton, at last, seems to have hit upon the right literary genre. Critics need not grudge her this apparent success, for it follows numerous failures at different genre.

Her first foray into fictional narrative, Descent under a Rain of Bombs, in which the author fantasizes about an imaginary landing in war-torn Kosovo under a hail of bombs raining over her head, attracted much attention and won critical acclaim, although it did raise many an eyebrow in Hollywood. Her graphically detailed reminiscences collected in a number of reviews both in her native USA and in Europe had ephemerally enhanced her literary profile and boosted her sagging public image when the actual footage of the trip was, alas, discovered in the attic of one of her fiercest opponents.

Her maiden efforts at farce “”…”another genre she tries her hand at occasionally-, Rape as a Weapon of War, (a copy of the unexpurgated version is said to have fallen into the hands of Wiki Leaks) met with only limited success, but provoked a richly deserved stinging rebuke from the Government of Sri Lanka. While her undeniably innate talents in this particular category have never been in dispute, many of her critics point to her pathological obsession with stories of apocryphal origin, almost always rooted in hearsay and even plain gossip, as her Achilles’ heel. Her writings in the genre which bear an uncanny resemblance to those of some of her more illustrious contemporaries, nevertheless, exhibit considerable literary skills and hold immense promise.  

The writer who rarely fails to wrap herself in an aura of sanctity adopts a supercilious tone in the presence of audiences from developing nations and excels in pontificating on a host of issues, of which she has scant knowledge, ranging from democracy, good governance and human rights to the independent nuclear deterrent. A sickeningly didactic tone pervades all her work primarily aimed at the weak and meek in the world, betrays the writer’s sense of superiority and often seems to cloud her judgement on many an issue. Even in her chosen field “”…” apologetics “”…” the author has been careful to differentiate between the saintly nations in Europe and the rest of the world, for she offers no apologies for the blatant lies, slander, canards etc concerning developing nations in the leaked messages. Hillary Rodham Clinton, true to her reputation, is, indeed, very selective in the choice of the recipients of her apologies. As usual, they are addressed to those of her allies of Caucasian stock who might have felt a pinprick in their pride and dignity, (if they have any left), as a result of some comments in the leaked memos. They are not at all meant for the Iraqis or Afghans whose entire families have been slaughtered in cold blood by the US and its allies. Nor are they destined for heads of state who have become victims of slander by some of her literary agents based in some capitals in the developing world.

In this day and age when prizes are awarded in anticipation of “great acts” by recipients rather than in recognition of past attainments or achievements or contributions to world peace, Hillary Rodham Clinton, through her recent contributions to diverse literary genres, has almost effortlessly earned her place in the list of nominees for the Nobel Prize for literature in 2011. Perhaps, she should share it with her impudent literary agent in Colombo.

Dr Bandula Kothalawala

London N7

2 Responses to “A Nobel Laureate!”

  1. AsokaK Says:

    And Julian Assange should get the Nobel Peace Prize.

  2. gdesilva Says:

    AsokaK Says:
    December 5th, 2010 at 4:40 am

    And Julian Assange should get the Nobel Peace Prize.

    ….AND also the highest available bravery award for exposing the scum of the earth.

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