Kandy Man with long name who fought the Brits.
Posted on May 29th, 2012

By Gary Brecher

You see some pretty sick stuff when you do my job, but I just read something sicker than any Congo cannibal buffet. ItƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s an article by a posh little limey named Jeremey Brown condemning the Sri Lankan government for being too messy in putting down the LTTE, and demanding that we stop buying the cheap textiles the poor Sinhalese make their living churning out.

WhatƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s sick about this is that the British establishment destroyed the Sinhalese people completely. Completely and purposely, sadistically. Stole their land, humiliated and massacred their government, made it Imperial policy to erase every shred of self-respect the Sinhalese had left.ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚  You can talk about the Nazis all day long, but for my money nothing they did was as gross as what you find out when you actually look into the history of British-Sinhalese relations. If you can even call them ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-relationsƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚; I guess a murder-rape is a relation, sort of.

But nobody knows about it. Weird, huh? Nothing weirds me out more than the total news blackout the Brits have managed to put on all the sick shit they did to brown and black people all over the world. They had a system, and it worked. TheyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢d grab some paradise island in the tropics, use the Royal Navy to wall it off from the rest of the world, and crush the local tribe. If the locals resisted, the Brits would starve them to death, shoot them down, infect them with smallpox or get them addicted to opiumƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢¢”š¬…”whatever they had to do to gang-rape the locals so bad that theyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢d lose the will to resist.

And to this day, they donƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t catch even a little bit of Hell for it. Everybody thinks the Brits are all cute and harmless. YouƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢re all a bunch of suckers for those suave accents, you suckers! The truth is that compared to the Brits, the Nazis youƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢re always yammering about were a gang of eighth-grade stoners who ran around spraypainting swastikas on school property. The Nazis lasted one decade; the Brits quietly ran their extermination programs for three hundred years, and to this day they wouldnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t even think of feeling guilty about it. WouldnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t cross their minds.

ThatƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s what made me want to puke battery acid when I read Mister Jeremy BrownƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s sermon on the naughty Sinhalese: this pig Brown has no clue about why Sri Lanka is so fucked up, no hint at all that itƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s the result of British Imperial policy. Not ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-mistakesƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ or ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-a few bad applesƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ or ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-regrettable excessesƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ but clear, cold, ruthless British policy.

One of the funniest bits in BrownƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s little Anglican sermon to the Sinhalese is when he mentions Arthur C. Clarke, the Brit sci-fi writer who moved to Sri Lanka. The reason thatƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s funny is that a few years back, when he was too senile and drunk to watch his tongue, Clarke admitted in an interview that the whole reason he moved to Sri Lanka is ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-for the boys.ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ As in, he liked to rape little boys, and they were cheap and pretty in the dear old ex-colony. The fucking Brits wouldnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t stop raping the Sinhalese even after their troops were forced off the island.

Jeremy Brown wouldnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t know that, of course. To him, Clarke is a wonderful example of all the wonderful things British people have done for poƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ little Sri Lanka:

ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-Britain hasƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚¦helped to rebuild Sri LankaƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s tourist industry: Britons accounted for 18.5 per cent of the foreigners who visited the former colonyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s famous beaches, wildlife parks, tea plantations and Buddhist temples last year. Only India sends more tourists. Many Britons also own property there, especially around the southern city of Galle, not far from where Arthur C.Clarke, the British science fiction writer who settled in Sri Lanka, used to love to scuba dive. [Is that what theyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢re callinƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ it these days? GB]

So the question facing British shoppers and holidaymakers is this: should they continue to support Sri LankaƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s garment and tourist industries?

DonƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t you love that last sentence: ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-Sadly, the answer must be no.ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ Anybody who can write a sentence like that without blowing his brains out at the monitor is a hopeless twit anyway, but letƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s help Jeremy out a little bit, folks, letƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s go back in time and take a quick look at all the wonderful things the Brits did for these rotten, ungrateful Sinhalese.

The pattern you see in the colonizing of Sri Lanka is a real familiar one, if you study the European naval empires: the Portugese, the greatest sailors and explorers, came to Sri Lanka long before the Brits, claimed the place, but couldnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t hold on to it. The Portugese lost the island to the Dutch, those upƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢nƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢coming Protestant go-getters, in the mid-1600s. ThatƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s another pattern you see everywhere, the old Papist powers losing out to the Protestants, who were just faster and smarter.

The next stage was also totally by the book: the Brits, the canopy tree if you know what I mean, come along and force the Dutch out. There were times the Brits sort of liked the Dutch; they were Protestant, at least, and blonde/blue-eyed. But business was business, and the Brits realized, by the end of the 1700s, that Sri Lanka was worth taking. Of course they didnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t say that in public; the official reason was that they had to boot the Dutch to guard the island from the nasty radical Frenchies.

That way of stealing islands, making it sound like you had to take them for the greater goodƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢¢”š¬…”that was classic Brit strategy. They always made it look like they were forced, against their will, to grab this or that colony. I dunno if yƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢all ever saw a movie called Erik the Viking, but it has a great scene with John Cleese playing this insane bloodthirsty warlord who orders people tortured to death in this tired, disappointed upper-class voice, and then whines, ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-ItƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s the stress that gets youƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢¢”š¬…”all put upon and harrassed, like Attila the Hun meets The Office.ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚  ThatƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s a perfect image for the way the Brits booted the Dutch out of Ceylon, tsk-tsking while they stole every shed, cannon and bale of tea on the island.

With the Dutch trade rivals gone, the Brits had only one problem left: the damned natives, the Sinhala, or ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-KandyansƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ as they were called back then. That dumb name, ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-Kandyans,ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ came from the fact that their main city was Kandy, up in the highlands in the south of the island, the fat part of the teardrop. The Sinhala lived in the highlands for the simple reason that it was a little cooler, not as totally malarial, up there compared to the stinking coastal marshes.

By all accounts, the Sinhala/Kandyans were harmless slackers, who didnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t need or want much from the outside world. All they asked was for people to leave them alone up on their big rocky highlands to do their Buddhist thing. Unfortunately that wasnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t British policy. It irked the redcoats that Kandy still had a king, an army, all this impudent baggage that went with independence. The British decided to break the Sinhalese completely, crush the whole society.

You have to remember that by this time, the early 1800s, the Brits have perfected their techniques in little experiments all over the world. Those Clockwork Orange shrinks were amateurs compared to the Imperial Civil Service. They had dozens of ways of undermining native kingdoms.

British administrators were trained to do a kind of rough, quick sociological sketch of the natives, get a sense of the fault lines and then figure out how to exploit them. The Brits saw fast that the Kandyans were a sluggish bunch of people divided into rigid castes in the classic subcontinent pattern. That made it easy: the Brits made two big castes their official pets and shunned the others, setting up a violent hate between different parts of Sinhalese society. That guaranteed that if the diehard Sinhalese/Kandyan nationalists ever revolted, the teacherƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s-pet castes would have a good selfish reason to help massacre them.

Then there was the Kandyan king himself. The Brits werenƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t dumb in the way Paul Bremer was dumb, ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-de-BaathifyingƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ Iraq. They loved corrupt local rulers. Much easier and cheaper to bribe one fat old degenerate on a throne than negotiate with all the commoners. So the Brits started playing with the nervous, dumb-ass Kandyan royals, scaring them with the threat of losing everything and then teasing them with the possibility of the safe, soft life of a Brit puppet.

This was the major leagues of Colonialism. To give you an idea of how important Ceylon/Sri Lanka was back then, try this on: in 1802, when French armies were kicking British and Prussian and Italian and Russian ass all over Europe (weird how nobody remembers that, huh?), the Brits were so terrified they tried to give Napoleon all their colonies except Sri Lanka and Trinidad. Those were the two they needed to keep.

The Kandy Men: no match for the Brit Vampire LordsƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚  And this is where another standard Brit policy came into playƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢¢”š¬…”a real smart one that we ought to be imitating: use native auxiliaries, not homeland troops, as much as possible. For all kinds of reasons, but here are the main ones:

1. If you bring in troops from some remote part of the Empire to do your dirty work, itƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s those troops, those faces and accents, the locals will remember, and hate, for generations. So you, the sly little pink Brit administrator, can stroll in later and commiserate with the locals as they show you around their burned huts, bayoneted kids, etc., and even say with a straight face, ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-Oh my, those auxiliaries from wherever, what ruddy heathens, eh? Outrageous, I shall certainly let Whitehall know about these abuses!ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ Then, of course, you get in your sedan chair, close the curtains and chuckle all the way home to where your little bum-boy is waiting.

2. Nobody back in London counts casualties as long as itƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s Malay mercs dying. You can lose a lot of themƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢¢”š¬…”and a lot of Malays did die fighting the Sinhala, especially in the total rout of a malaria-sapped Brit/Malay force at the Mahaveli River in 1803ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢¢”š¬…”but nobody is going to make a fuss in the Times of London (Mister Jeremy BrownƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s paper, as you may recall). If youƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢re lucky theyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ll pop off before payday and you can keep their payroll for that estate in Shropshire.

3. Dropping hot-blooded feisty Malay muslims with guns far from home and making them fight Sinhalese bleeds Malay society as well as Sinhalese. Left in peace, Malays could be troubleƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢¢”š¬…”a proud, warlike people. So by sending them to die in Sri Lanka, youƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢re diverting all that young, angry Malay blood away from SE Asia and using it to bleed Kandy (bleed KandyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢¢”š¬…”I like that!). Two birds, one blood-soaked stone.

You see why I get impatient with you gullible suckers yammering about the fucking Nazis? The Nazis were retards, a white-trash tantrum, an eighth-grade chem-class pipe bomb, a quick-fizzle flash in the pan, compared to the Brits, the scariest motherfuckers ever to butt-fuck the planet.

The mercenaries the Brits sent to crush the Kandyans were Malays, muslims from SE Asia who didnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t need a lot of pep talks to slaughter South Asian Buddhists (and steal their chickens). That was life for the Brits back then, at the top of their game: picking up pieces from one part of the world and dropping them where theyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢d do the most harm, half the world away. ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-Ah yes, letƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s ferry some Malay mercs to Kandy, that should give the bloody idol-worshippers something to think about!ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚

Destroying Buddhism was a big part of Brit policy. The Buddhist routine, the temples, begging monks, long boring prayersƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢¢”š¬…”it was the glue that kept Kandy together. So the Brits decided to destroy it. They even said so, in private memos to each other. They werenƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t shy in them days. HereƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s the Brit governor in 1807: ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-Reliance on Buddhism must be destroyed. Make sure all [village] chiefs are Christian.ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚

Up to 1818, the Brits had a blast messing with doomed Sinhala rebellions, trying out CI recipes like Frankenstein guesting on Rachael Ray. A good time was had by all, except the Sinhalese. They had a very, very bad time, and it was about to get worse.

See, another constant youƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ll find in Brit imperial policy is that although theyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢re very sly and patient, they have a very good sense of when to cut the crap and just wipe out a tribe thatƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s been annoying them for too long. They were getting sick of the Sinhalese, with all their bickering and intrigues; the redcoats just werenƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t enjoying the Col. Kurtz game the way they used to. So boom: the ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-killƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢em allƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ era begins.

But they did it smart, not like the idiot boastful Nazis yƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢all love to obsess on. I bet every one on the planet can name the Nazi death camps, but IƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢d be surprised if more than, say, a half dozen people outside Sri Lanka can name the policy the Brits used to destroy the Sinhala for good.

Anybody? DidnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t think so. See, hereƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s another little tip for upƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢nƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢coming genocidaires out there: always pick the most boring name possible. Those fucking Nazis, with their heavy-metal jewelry and titles! Dopes! You want extermination programs with names that put everybody to sleep.

And thatƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s why in 1818 Britain brought ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-the wasteland policyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ to Kandy. They could have called it what that Liberian wacko called his campaign: ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-Operation No Living Thing.ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ ThatƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s what it meant: Brit-led troops ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-draining the seaƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ the Sinhala irregulars swam in by burning every hut, every field, and killing every animal in every village they suspected of harboring ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-rebels.ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚

Hey, thatƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s another key Brit CI techniques: that word ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-rebels.ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ Blows me away: how can a Sinhalese in Sri Lanka, fighting for the country his people have owned for a hundred generations, be a ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-rebelƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚? And the pipsqueak redcoat officer hunting him down, who was born and raised in fucking LondonƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢¢”š¬…”heƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s not the ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-rebel,ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ heƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s the forces of law and order, the rightful authorities. Quite a racket if you have the sheer, sociopathic nerve to say it with a straight face. (IƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢m talking to you, Mister Jeremy Brown!)

What does ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-rebelƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ mean, anyway? IƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ve noticed that in English press itƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s a bad word. Here itƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s different, because we were the rebels in 1775 and proud of it. But see, people who know the American revolution think that the Brit policy against the Yankees, where (give or take a Banastre Tarlteton or two), the redcoats tried to avoid killing civvies, was normal Imperial policy.

Bullshit. The reason the Brits let us go, didnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t try scorched-earth on us, was that we WERE Brits, as far as they could tell: white protestant English-speaking humans. If you werenƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t all of the above, you werenƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t human. The only other war where English troops had the same restraint wasƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢¢”š¬…”take a guess. Right: the English Civil War. In England, they fought clean. But when Cromwell marched up to subdue the Scots, who were Protestant (good) but non-English (bad), a lot of POWs never made it back to the holding pens, and a lot of crofts were torched, and a lot of girls were raped. When he moved from Scotland to Ireland, where the filthy locals were filthy Papist as well as non-English, well, you donƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t want to know what happened there.

So in places like Sri Lanka, full of brown heathens, Brit policy had nothing to do with fucking Yorktown. More like Dresden, only lower-tech.

The ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-WastelandƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ policy was smart and mean at the same timeƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢¢”š¬…”another sure mark of the Brit Imperial Touch. It was designed to deny the ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-rebelsƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ support in the short term, but in the long term it was pure punishment, taking away the land, livestock and other assets of all the Sinhalese who were even suspected of being ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-rebelƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚-lovers.

And it worked. To this day, 200 years later, the Sinhalese castes who backed the rebels are dirt poor, and worse: theyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢re hated by everybody around them and they even hate themselves. And nobody even remembers who did it to them, poor lab rats. They think itƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s their own fault, that thereƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s something wrong with them.

ThereƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s more, and worse, but to tell the truth, this is making me sick. IƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ve tried to tell this story a dozen times and nobody wants to know. You just end up vomiting battery acid all night, and pigs like Mister Jeremy Brown of the Times of London never lose one second of sleep over all those bodies, and all those lies and sheer nastiness. WhatƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s the use? IƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ll just fastforward through a couple of highlight shots. Take reprisals. You know, like those bad olƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ Nazis used to do after a ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-rebelƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚ attack? The Brits were there way before the Nazis. They took revenge for a half-assed Kandyan revolt by killing one out of every hundred Sinhalese. Like, at random. To keep it fair, you know, not play favorites.

And then the nastiest CI weapon of all, the demographic bomb. This was a Brit specialty all over the world (see Fiji for a weirdly similar case). The Brits ran India, so they had total control over millions of obedient Tamil peasants who were starving, desperate, and ready to go anywhere, just pile into the hold of a ship and get out to cut cane or plant rice in some place that may as well have been on the Moon for all they knew.

So along with the massacre/reprisals, the Brits came up with one of their classic two-birds-one-stone plans: to neutralize the Sinhalese, letƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s import huge hordes of Tamils from India! TheyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢re cheap and docile and theyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ll give the Sinhala something to keep them busy even after we have to leave the island, haw! And meanwhile theyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ll drive the price of labor down even further! Brilliant, chaps, absolutely brilliant!

And they did it. Worked so well itƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s still working today. And when they were done totally destroying the poor Sinhalese, the Brits did what they do best, better than any other murder gang on the planet: they took that amnesia zapper from Men in Black and zapped everyone in Sri Lanka, then turned it on themselves and were suddenly so innocent, so damn virtuous and clean, that a pig like Mister Jeremy Brown can actually sit down at a computer and boast about all the wonderful times England has raped Sri Lanka, from olden times right down to Arthur C. Clarke buggering every little boy on the island. Heckuva job, Brownie! Satan himself is shaking his head, muttering, ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-Gotta give it to the fuckinƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ limeys, damn itƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚¦.they got no shame at all, ya gotta admire that. Damn, even I wouldnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t have had the gall to talk like that Jeremy Brown. IƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢m putting him down for CEO of the Hell Propagandastaffel the minute his liver packs up and he lands down here.ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚


Gary Brecher is the author of the War Nerd. Send your comments to brecher@exiledonline.com.

14 Responses to “Kandy Man with long name who fought the Brits.”

  1. Vis8 Says:

    Thank you, Gary, for this. Sri Lanka, the only country to have stood up to insane terrorists and eliminated them altogether, are facing a lot of crap from the West. It is not that the politicians in the UK and US realize what Sri Lanka has achieved, but rather, they are driven by the ‘campaign donations’ (terror money) and promised votes by the “refugees” who making hay while the sun shines, by unashamedly fabricating stories of ‘discrimination’, and “abuse” in Sri Lanka.

    All these refugees want, and what they are unashamedly and desperately trying, is to protect their “refugee status” in the greener pastures of the West. Hence, the lies and damned lies.

    It is heartening to see someone stand up to the truth. Please help Sri Lanka, who is trying to redevelop after 30 years of insane extremism. God Bless You!

  2. Dilrook Says:

    Great article.

    Malays are peaceful and respectable Lankans today. British forced a few of them to do the nasty things they did. It was not their fault.

    The biggest damage the British did to Ceylon, Fiji, Malaysia, etc. was introducing South Indian (mainly Tamil) people in millions into these countries. Britain should take them to Britain and compensate them.

  3. Dham Says:

    You allow this article without reading.
    “The fucking Brits wouldn’t stop raping the Sinhalese even after their troops were forced off the island.”
    Is this because it is written by a Brit ?

  4. Dham Says:

    “The biggest damage the British did to …. Fiji ……was introducing South Indian (mainly Tamil) people . Not true for Fiji.
    If you don’t know for certain don’t tell lies in public.

  5. Konnapu Bandara Says:

    Chaps, I read Gary’s post 3 years ago and left the below comment there. If anybody is naive enough to think what Pommies did in Sri Lanka was benevolent colonialism, an oxymoron in itself, all you have to do is visit Aluvaharaya in Matale and read the sign at the entrance to old temple grounds. It lists number of times the Pommie twits burned the sacred temple just for fun, destroying in the process priceless texts that were kept there for thousands of years. I should have taken a picture of that sign and sent it to that sanctimonious twit Milliband.

    [78. Kandy Man with long name | May 28th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
    Gary, old boy, I am a man from Kandy and the bad-ass dude with the long sword in the picture is General Kappitipolla. He was a noble man, alas naive in his belief in honor and decency. He was in charge of the Sinhala army under Pommie twits before he had enough and started the revolution. However he sent back the weapons the Brits had given the Sinhalese and went against the bastards using swords and spears. Bad mistake. Looking for honor and decency among Pommie bastards is like looking for Virgin Mary in a Texas whorehouse.]


  6. R.M.W Says:

    Excellent historical analysis, and told in the Language that the world at large would comprehend.
    But let me add an important point; why did these limes eradicate slavery? Why did they work against slavery? Were they kind, fastidious guys and fairer than American, Spanish and Dutch slavers? Not by a long long shot!
    It was executed purely for economic gain! For they had at their disposal Indian servile low cast Tamils ready to embrace any religion and serve any master, as long they had a few crumbs on their plate.
    So the F. Limy Brits have thought thinks out, and went head on against slave run plantation nations; so that Brits were left as an economic and a military power. For these coolie labour and Jaffna Tamil Christians keeping them in the hovels and acting as Kankanies it worked like a well oiled machine for they had slave coolies.
    I doubt any Catholic run ‘Uncle Tom’ dailies in Sri Lanka will publish such factual articles!
    Do not worry about the Sinhalese Buddhist chauvinist, now they had have survived the worst; whereas the natives of whole of American and Australian continent did not, and as they say ‘Every donkey has his day’.
    That is the reason why this inferiority complex by the earlier slavering nations and nations which operated gas chambers for the Sinhalese Buddhists!
    Mahinda Weerasinghe

  7. Vis8 Says:

    Dham, Lankaweb is perhaps the one and only forum where everyone’s contributions are posted, and where all comments are posted without “moderating”. Let’s keep it that way.

  8. Fran Diaz Says:

    No wonder Brit PM David Cameron, not too long ago, said : ” most of the present day troubles in the world are due to the British”. We agree. We might add other colonists to the list too.

    What hell raising, greedy desperados all colonists were ! – like one mad ‘Gold Rush’ to the ‘colonies’. It were the trade routes, spices & cheap, slave-like labor that brought them to the tropics. Spices were paramount as there were no fridges to keep the food from rotting, and of course, make food more palatable. Slaves essential for lack of machines. A sad/bad time in evolution of man on earth. All these needs are now met without conquest of countries.

    Time to only take the best ideas from all colonists and throw out the rest. But, it is also a good idea never to forget those dark days. Lanka should Modernise with Mechanisation, and be less dependent on Tamil labor.

  9. Geeth Says:

    Brilliant article with equally matching language use to describe such disgraceful history of Brits full of subhuman carnages. Actually the writer brilliantly describes it… there is no shamelessly proud bunch like Brits for being greatest thieves of human history, and still shamelessly proud of it.

    The beauty is if this article was written by a Sri Lankan with the use of similar language to address the ‘coldhearted butchers’- the Brits, (I mean they have all the reasons to use such a language against Brits), but then of course there would be many Sri Lankans, those properly colonized obedient servants of their colonial masters there to criticize the writer for being direct and unwavering to say it as it is.

    There are other nations who committed crimes against humanity such as Spain. But unlike Brits, they will never come to teach you about human rights like British HCs do it with shamelessly straight faces. So isn’t this the language suitable to address such a bastardly act? I wish if there is someone to show this article to current British HC. So he wouldn’t be able to say that he didn’t see it.

  10. Naram Says:

    You can listen to a brilliant lecture in the U tube by English writer – V S Naipaul, on the day of his Nobel Prize award, there he went on to the tortured history of TRinidad. THe history there was much like the rest of Latin America- natives were slaughterd and replaced with African Slaves. In the 19th century more labour was required and this time they brought them from Indian sub continent, and he had researched into his own origins and found them possibly as NApalis making an itinerant livingin the Gangetic plain.

    Sri Lanka had more waves of immgrant British Regiments first Malay Regiment to to crsush the locals in 1848, and again in 1815, to crush a minor stone throwing incident with a Panjabi Regiment.

    Somehow the Buddhism’s discipline meant not even those who converted, indeed there were many, were not believed to have sufficient blood lust to make strong soldiers to kill heathen in the eyes of imperialists.

  11. Fran Diaz Says:

    Brits sure knew how to get ‘dirty work’ done by setting one colony against the other. Let’s not forgot that America was a Brit colony too.

  12. Andare Says:

    Should not Great Britain be asked to pay reparations for all the damages they have caused the Sinhalese? It is high time the GoSL drew up a document listing the atrocities committed by the British and submit to the UN to ask for reparations and a full and unreserved apology from them. This document should be given full publicity in Western news papers by GoSL even if it means taking a full page advertisement out on one of the most prestigious news papers. We should also post copies to all the Ministers in Great Britain so that they can read what their grand parents did. This can be done by ordinary citizens. We do not have to depend on the GoSL.

  13. Lorenzo Says:

    LLRC terms should have extended to 1818.

    Then our enemies will be DUMBFOUNDED as they become the war criminals!!!

    Especially the Brits.

  14. Fran Diaz Says:


    It’s not too late to have an LLRC (Part II).

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