Janaka Yagirala

Sri Lanka is a small country compared to India but in the game of geopolitics size doesn’t matter as long as you play the game right. It is true that Indian goods are little better than junk, Indian medicine kills rather than cures and Indian machines spend more time in the repair yard than up and running; but we should see India for value like India sees the Andaman and Nicobar Islands as a buffer zone to protect the mainland.

‚ In terms of value, brightly shining India is a living laboratory for epidemiology with countless slums, open air latrines and open drains of raw sewage. It is also the best place to study abject poverty and long term malnutrition with more test subjects than all of Africa. There is also no better place than India to study religious tomfoolery such as drinking -holy- bovine urine, the invigorating power of water with putrefying human flesh (aka the Ganges) and an assortment of divine comics of which twelve headed mutants and anthropomorphic elephants are just the beginning. If you are a good magician, India is your land of opportunity. All you need is to don a rag, grow a beard and utter some convincing mumbo jumbo to earn millions!

‚ Nonetheless, India has the greatest value as a buffer zone against jihadist attacks from Afganistan and Pakistan, so we need India. We shouldn’t rejoice at a Soviet Union style collapse of India but we can benefit from a few minor modifications to the South Asian landscape. As a bully India needs a bit of a backfire like a typical loose Indian dhoti falling from the waist!

‚ India forced the 13th Amendment with the intention of weakening Sri Lanka in two ways. The obvious first was ethnocentric demarcation. The second was to create a huge administrative burden second only to Belgium (one can check out the video -Belgium for Dummies- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlwHotpl9DA). It is not contempt of court to say that the Supreme Court of Sri Lanka made a pretty bad decision by preventing the new cigarette package rule. However, the landmark decision stating that Provincial Councils have no land powers is indeed priceless. Though useless, the growing cabinet is indirectly a good thing for they are funded by sovereign debt. We cannot run on debt forever and sooner or later Greek style austerity will come to Sri Lanka. When it does, the government will have a simple choice: either cut down on education, health, subsidies and Samurdhi and become unpopular in record breaking time or ditch the useless Provincial Councils and gain popularity. Lets hope that by some miracle our current politicians will prove their masculinity at least by then!

‚ What we have to do is simple, foster an apolitical nationalist opposition (definitely not the General!) to replace the defunct anti-national UNP and give our fullest ideological support to aspiring ethnocentric states in India.

‚ Politicians lacking masculinity in front of racist minority agendas created the JHU in the past and is the main driving force behind the growing support to the Bodu Bala Sena, Ravana Balaya and Sinhala Ravaya of today. Sinhalese people may vote for the UPFA because it is better than the UNP in terms of nationalistic stance. To prove my point all is needed is to count the votes former President Chandrika Kumaranathunga will get should she run for the next presidential election and compare it to the votes she got when she led the PA-SLFP against our permanent fixture opposition leader. The JHU did the right thing by supporting the government during the critical phase of the war. The downside of this decision was that after the war, the JHU lost much of the strong nationalistic influence it once wielded.

‚ Today, the BBS, RB and SR are the main line of defense for the Sinhalese people against racist minority agendas. In order to safeguard our inalienable right to every square inch of land of Sri Lanka, it is paramount for this nationalist apolitical opposition to remain so. We just have too many examples (Gen. Sarath Fonseka is just one of them) of how politics ruined individuals and organizations.

‚ When it comes to aspiring Indian states, our number one priority must be Kongu Nadu, the northern part of Tamil Nadu. Kongu Nadu provides two thirds of revenue to Tamil Nadu. Without Kongu Nadu, Tamil Nadu jokers will have a tougher time financing their Dirk Gently antics. Next should be Ladakh. Besides the Buddhist kinship we share with them, the people of Ladakh are culturally compatible with Tibet and China rather than India. Next in line are Gorkaland, Kukiland, Mitila and Bodoland, regions inhabited by people outside the brown skinned desi periphery. The list goes on from Tulu Nadu to Kosal. However, in the case of Kashmir, being the enemy of our enemy doesn’t make them our friend!

‚ More states in India means a bigger administrative burden, much like our useless PCs. Since these states will be ethnocentric, they will benefit from the investment similar to the zero return infrastructure development of our Northern Province to keep them within India. They will ultimately result in weakening the already weak cohesion of Indian administration and armed forces. India has serious erectile dysfunction when it comes to military matters. Indian heroism is just like Bollywood, one hell of a fantasy. Had India had a tenth of the military potency it wants its neighbors to think it has, it would have rescued the hostages of Flight IC 814 Entebbe style without freeing 3 convicted terrorists.

‚ The Indian game in Sri Lanka was to use for their own advantage the two -alien- minorities, the Tamils and Muslims who are mostly loyal to their ancestral homelands rather than Sri Lanka. Besides them, all other prominent minorities in Sri Lanka such as the Veddhas, Malays and Africans are well integrated and have proven themselves on multiple occasions. The Veddhas trained vital jungle survival skills to our Armed Forces that proved decisive when battling the jungle based LTTE. The Malays have produced many war heroes and their Malay language provided a vital communication edge similar to Navajo during WW2. Sri Lanka has no threat of secession or autonomy from them. We are also obliged to protect them and their way of life for like us Sinhalese, Sri Lanka is their only home. India has 300 minorities and tribes and the geopolitical potential seems endless.

‚ Supporting their statehood cause is not a difficult thing, a well written article justifying their cause, an expression of solidarity, a creative post on Facebook are all small but significant things that only take a little leisure time.

‚ So until our politicians regain their wartime masculinity to stand up against Indian intervention, its all up to us to play the Indians their own Indian game!