{"id":80583,"date":"2018-08-31T01:00:06","date_gmt":"2018-08-31T08:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lankaweb.com\/news\/items\/?p=80583"},"modified":"2018-08-31T01:00:06","modified_gmt":"2018-08-31T08:00:06","slug":"mmda-and-wali-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-the-question","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lankaweb.com\/news\/items\/2018\/08\/31\/mmda-and-wali-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-the-question\/","title":{"rendered":"MMDA and Wali : “To be, or not to be, that is the question”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dr. Mareena Thaha Reffai, Dehiwela<\/em><\/span><\/h2>\n

The famous line that begins Prince Hamlet’s soliloquy in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “To be, or not to be, that is the question” is probably the most cited statement in all classical drama. … “To be or not to be” is in fact, not the question. It is a wrong question.\u201d So says \u00a0Google !<\/p>\n

Yes, regarding the wali too, it is the wrong question. It should be \u201dWhat should the wali do?\u201d<\/p>\n

We can excuse Justice saleem Marsoof, a life time dear family friend of ours, a he has no daughters. \u00a0But would \u00a0all the other members in the panel agree to their daughters \u2013 if they have one \u2013 to go get married at 18 without the consent of the parents to any Tom, Dick or Harry? \u00a0\u00a0Or even to any Mohamed, Ahamed or Seyyed? I doubt it. I certainly will not.<\/p>\n

We must understand the concept of wali in Islam. It is not a matter of a monstrous father handing over his infant daughter with no consent whatsoever \u00a0\u00a0to a horrible doddering old man! \u00a0\u00a0Islam lays down cohesive, comprehensive \u00a0rules for a Girl\u2019s marriage giving her independence, dignity, love and acceptance while also assuring the groom that the \u00a0protection of the parents and her family continuously even after the marriage. That\u2019s what wali is about.<\/p>\n

The bride\u2019s consent is a must in Islam. And the girl being given in marriage by the wali\u00a0 doesn\u2019t mean it is an authoritarian usurping of the right of the bride, rather the responsible consent of the family \u2013 not necessarily the father alone \u2013 and the wali represents this fact at the solemn function of the wedding. This also indicates to the groom \u2013 and his family, the wali is still responsible for the bride throughout her life. The decision to give her in marriage to a certain person \u00a0is most \u00a0of the time not decided by the father alone rather by the whole family \u2013often even with consultation with extended family, and father or the wali \u00a0represents the family.<\/p>\n

The notion that Imam Abu Hanifa \u00a0allowed marriage without wali is a misconception. People must know the strongest version is that the marriage is not valid without a wali.<\/p>\n

Now again, just like the matter of marriageable age, this proposal to allow marriage of girls without wali came about based on wrong perception. How many marriages have taken place where the father surreptitiously or forcefully gave the daughter in marriage to a total stranger? \u00a0\u00a0Let\u2019s find out and if it is true, then let\u2019s take measures to stop it, rather than opening the flood gates for every girl to go get married to anyone who gives her a missed call, or send a love letter or \u00a0smiled at her on the road. Who in their proper sense will think that every girl at \u00a018 years of age \u00a0is fit enough to know all the facts about the boy she wants to get married to, and will make a proper decision? Come on.<\/p>\n

If anyone is in touch with reality and have seen the girls who eloped with boys and are suffering, often abandoned by her husband and her family, often with two or three children, they will shudder at the thought of allowing girls to get married without wali.<\/p>\n

What we need to do is to educate the girls on their rights and more so educate the fathers of the travails of unhappy marriages. Pre marital counselling, both to the bride and groom, \u00a0is a sorely neglected need of our society.<\/p>\n

Just giving the ass\u2019s freedom for the girls to marry without a wali is not going to solve the problem- it will only confound it.<\/p>\n

Sent by:<\/p>\n

Dr. Mareena Thaha Reffai,<\/p>\n

Dehiwela<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dr. Mareena Thaha Reffai, Dehiwela The famous line that begins Prince Hamlet’s soliloquy in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “To be, or not to be, that is the question” is probably the most cited statement in all classical drama. … “To be or not to be” is in fact, not the question. It is a wrong question.\u201d So […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-80583","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lankaweb.com\/news\/items\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80583","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lankaweb.com\/news\/items\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lankaweb.com\/news\/items\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lankaweb.com\/news\/items\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lankaweb.com\/news\/items\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=80583"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lankaweb.com\/news\/items\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80583\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lankaweb.com\/news\/items\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=80583"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lankaweb.com\/news\/items\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=80583"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lankaweb.com\/news\/items\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=80583"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}