Let more women come back with nails in them! Ameen.
Posted on November 18th, 2010

By Dr. Mrs. Mareena Thaha Reffai Vanderwert Place,Dehiwela.

The news that more and more women are being sent back with nails driven into them is good news for the counselors. Yes only they see the pathetic situation of the neglected children of these mothers who go in search of the never existing greener pastures, sometimes never to come back and at other times to come back to a broken family.

It is the psychologists and the counselors who see the real pathetic results of house maiding.

Irrespective of whether their stories are true or not, we are happy more and more stories of trauma and torture come to light. We sincerely hope this will shock the nation enough to wake them from the stupor of greediness at the expense of families, children and even moral values.

 Come and see the children who have been molested by their own fathers when the mother had left to find the gold pot in the middle east, the children tortured by their guardians, the little ones who had been taken to be sold for a mere thousand rupees, and “¦.. most of all the little ones who cry themselves to sleep daily because they miss their never returning mothers so much. And the ones who eat out of the dustbins while the mothers are sleeping in so called comfort in the houses abroad. The tales are endless. Each child is a story in themselves.

So more the women come back with the nails driven into them, the better it is. Will the country at least now wake up and listen to the tales of woe of the neglected families? The other stories of injustice, the broken bones, the burnt limbs were not enough to stop this menace. Will at least this abnormal torture bring the nation to senses?

 Let us stop sending our womenfolk abroad to do the job of the men. A woman is needed in the house to make it in to a home for the children. It is the duty of the husbands and other men to bring the provision, to build the house, to provide for the family. This is what the Quran says:

 In sura 4: verse 34 “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means”.

 When we try to change the very nature of the creations, we wreak havoc in the world. Let’s not be part of it. Let every woman refuse to go abroad for a job while their husbands stay home to sit and waste their money. And the children go astray. Let the men go and earn- that’s what they are created for. That is more according to nature of things and according to Gods will.

14 Responses to “Let more women come back with nails in them! Ameen.”

  1. Nihal Fernando Says:

    Yes, Doctor, Mrs. Mareena, it is the duty of the man to look after his wife. It goes both ways: a woman, without her man, is nothing. A woman, without her, man is nothing. Same sentence but two different meanings. They need each other in a family.

    If the Quran says in sera 4: verse 34 “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means”. hiring them as maids by Arabs is also against the religion as well as husband allowing his wife to be hired as a virtual slave by another man.

    I have seen very old women selling fruits, food etc riding push bicycles, motorcycles or pushing carts in Thailand. They never send their women out of the country to work as house maids. We really do not need to send our women to middle east countries but there are plenty of other self employment opportunities in our own country. Arabs treat their own wives as merchandise, let alone the house maids coming from overseas. I also have seen young women wearing caps and sunglasses sweeping the road as a living. If we see a young girl doing the same thing in our country or an old woman riding a bicycle wearing a slack and T-shirt and selling food stuff, etc everybody will stare at them feeling funny because we still have stupid social barriers for women. We will have to remove these barriers. Gender inequality in our society is a barrier to our economic growth also.

  2. sena Says:

    I think the writer and respondends are missing one point. That is it is the official policy of the rulers (i.e. politicians and professionals) to send these women abroad so that they have foriegn exchange to serve their needs (as well as for essential imports). That is right our politicians and learned have reduced to depending on these blue collar workers (of which women helpers are a majority) to sustain their living. These people have neglected their responsibility to the country to such an extent that we have fallen to such depths. Amazingly some politicians are boasting this as an acievement of their respective governments. For seventy odd years we are chearning out profesionals and their contribution to the economy is almost nil. If we take madical professionals, they are the major pillar in the biggest industry in the world i.e. the healthcare industry. We have nothing to show for in this major industry while our neighboring countries have achieved considerable progress in manufacturing medical supplies, drugs and devices and also setting up advanced treatment facilities that cater to foriegners. The main reason for this situation is the poor professional attitude of our doctors other and related professionals who were never serious in setting up a good research and development base that has also lead to diminishing international recognition of our medical degrees. The situation in all other professional areas like manufacturing is same. The low productivity and creativity of our professionals (partly due to poor political leadership) has resulted in poor blue collar workers shouldering all the economic burden.

  3. De Costa Says:

    This heartless woman writer is the worst ever creation of Allah.
    Woman,
    These poor women do not go there for fun. They wouldn’t go there if their husband could support them. They go there because of poverty. Allah created poverty everywhere. Allah did not create everyone the same. He is the biggest discriminator.
    You are the biigest brainless woman in Dehiwala. If woman is created to do houswork , then that is exacly what they are going to do in this shamless, cruel country called Saudi Arabia – being house maids. Shut up with your islam preacing and praise of extremist, uncivilized islamic nation called Saudi.

  4. Sajith Says:

    This spiteful woman is disgusting. Lankaweb should not publish such hateful and barbaric articles from maniacs.
    We have Rizana, Kamalawathi and a Tamil lady who suffered due to Middle East barbarians. It’s a horrendous situation affecting the poor exploited by the uncivilised in Arabia.

    This is unacceptable in a civilised world. Let there be continuing war in the Middle East! Amen!

  5. cassandra Says:

    Dr Reffai has, not for the first time, drawn attention to something which it seems is little appreciated and not often discussed – the terrible effects on the family at home that result when women go to work in the Middle East. But what she says happens, does so because of the long absences of the women from their homes and their separation from spouses and children – not necessarily because they work in a particular part of the world; only that for those working in the Middle East it becomes doubly tragic because the women, also suffer directly from cruel working conditions.

    Some of the things Dr Reffai mentions are indeed very sad – such as “children who have been molested by their own fathers when the mother had left to find the gold pot in the middle east, the children tortured by their guardians, the little ones who had been taken to be sold for a mere thousand rupees, and ….. most of all the little ones who cry themselves to sleep daily because they miss their never returning mothers so much.”

    I imagine most women who go to work in the Middle East, do so reluctantly and only because they see no other way out of the ‘poverty trap’, no other way to be able to put food on the family table, to hope to build a house and to afford some ‘extras’. Sadly, it seems, they pay a very heavy price in the process – terrible working conditions including torture and maltreatment at the hands of the employers, and trauma and the sort of things Dr Reffai says happen to the families at home. In the end these women may have little, except for a few material possessions, to show for all their sacrifices.

    Unfortunately, as Sena says “it is the official policy of the rulers (i.e. politicians and professionals) to send these women abroad so that they have foreign exchange to serve their needs (as well as for essential imports). That is right our politicians and learned have reduced to depending on these blue collar workers (of which women helpers are a majority) to sustain their living”. Yes, it is these hapless people who earn the foreign exchange that enables the politicians and leaders to enjoy their flash cars and a coveted lifestyle. But what credit or recognition is given these people? How much meaningful action is taken to protect them and ensure their welfare?

    What Dr Reffai has said should trouble the nation’s conscience, and the authorities should try to create more job opportunities within the country so that women won’t need to seek employment abroad.

    Dr Reffai has said “A woman is needed in the house to make it in to a home for the children. It is the duty of the husbands and other men to bring the provision, to build the house, to provide for the family” and has quoted a sura in support. I note that the good doctor is a ‘Mrs’ and I hope her husband stands up to this test! But whatever our religion – or even if have no religion at all – we can appreciate the good sense of what she has said. And to be fair to her, she has not held out a brief either for those employers in the Middle East or for her faith.

    What the Koran says is of course only prescriptive for Muslims. I imagine there must be other verses as well in the Holy Book to guide the faithful in right conduct I suggest then the good doctor should also remind her cousins in the Middle East of what their Holy Book has to say about these things so that they learn to treat their employees fairly and with decency and dignity.

  6. Nanda Says:

    Cassandra,
    I challenge this “doctor” to quote from Quran say something against those Saudi employers. It will never happen because they are their “muslim brothers”. I can understand the anger of people when one says “Let more women come back with nails in them! ” which religious teacher ( except some muslim teachers” utter such cruel words. I feel nails going thorugh my body when she says that – for some reaon you don’t. Why talk about chlidren ? What about these mothers ? Three women are suffering at the moment – one muslim, one tamil and one Sinhala.
    This is a Sri lankan “doctor” saying ” why do you crossed the road at worng place – I let you die” to a patient who is hit by a car. Very compassionate -Ahmen !

  7. Nanda Says:

    In Australia, the Muslim Muftee blames women for wearing revealingly – not the rapist.
    Same idea as the “doctor”. So, this is something to do with the religion , ofcourse ! Leave the offender first and punish the victim.

  8. cassandra Says:

    Nanda,
    I read the article in all good faith as a genuine attempt to draw attention to the problems that arise at home when women are away at work, from home for long periods, and to call for some action to meet them. I did not read her comments as approving of the maltreatment of SL women by cruel employers in the Middle East. If that is indeed what she meant, then I share your sense of outrage. How a doctor, who by definition is called to preserve and protect life, could be so callous about the sufferings of others, defies reason. And, you are right about the Mufti in Sydney.

  9. Fran Diaz Says:

    To Dr Reffai : Could you please give us all the figures of :

    (a) parents raping children in the absence of their mothers ?
    (b) the number of children eating out of dustbins when their mothers are working in the Middle East ?
    (c) the number of children sold ?
    (d) the number of children tortured by their guardians ?
    (e) the number of broken families due to mothers working abroad ?

    We must have these figures to submit them to the appropriate department of child care as Dr Reffai makes out that there is an epidemic of maltreatment of our kids.

    We invite Dr Reffai to write in another article with these figures, with names and addresses appropriately included of the parents concerned & details of their children, such as age, whether schooling, illness.

    Also, we would like details please of the number of women who returned with ‘nails’ embedded in their bodies. We would like to see their names, the names of their employers in the M.E. and how it is they managed to escape from such horrible households. How these women avoided serious infections & tetanus due to these nails beats me.

    If alternative employment which is more dignified can be obtained, we would like to hear of such jobs too, either in Lanka or abroad.

    What we do know that much good has come out of women working abroad. The money they have brought in have proved invaluable to those families.

    The time is gone when we blindly accept articles on any website.

  10. sena Says:

    To Fran,
    “What we do know that much good has come out of women working abroad. The money they have brought in have proved invaluable to those families”
    Not exactly, they have helped the politicians and city folk more who are free loading on these people’s sacrifices without contributing much to the economy.
    A nation is not defeated until it sells its women. That is what we are doing. Read the following article for its history
    http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Middle_East/HK21Ak01.html

    “If alternative employment which is more dignified can be obtained, we would like to hear of such jobs too, either in Lanka or abroad.”
    This is the responsibility of the politicians and professionals who have been enriching themselves for the last 70 years on the back of the public betraying their trust in electing them and financing their education.

  11. Nanda Says:

    Cassandra,
    I like to exchange views with you ( even though we did not agree on Malcom) because your arguments are precise impartial, mostly.
    You do not need to take the following as a hint.

    “So more the women come back with the nails driven into them, the better it is. Will the country at least now wake up and listen to the tales of woe of the neglected families? The other stories of injustice, the broken bones, the burnt limbs were not enough to stop this menace. Will at least this abnormal torture bring the nation to senses?”

    I think this “doctor” must apologise here and now, if she did not mean what she said above. If not we have to take it as commandment from the Holy Book which she is following. Not much different to Mufti but it is worse.

  12. Fran Diaz Says:

    To Sena :

    The article you refer to is titled “Jihadis & Whores” by Spengler. It says “a nation is not defeated until it sells its women” thus referring to Prostitution as the ultimate degrading of a country. On this subject, these are the countries in the whole world that has the highest rates of Prostitution : Dominican Republic, Brazil, Thailand, Philippines. Strangely, three of these countries are Catholic with one, Thailalnd, Buddhist. Does Lanka too want to go this way ? No.

    The present GoSL had the idea, not too long ago, of training women as Attendants & Nurses to work around the world. How far was this idea carried out ? It is an excellent idea. We would like to recommend that male Attendants too be trained to work around the world.

    It is not a good idea to wait for GoSL to do everything. The public too should write in good ideas on any subject. That is the way Democracy works.

  13. Fran Diaz Says:

    To Sena :

    The article you refer to is titled “Jihadis & Whores” by Spengler. It says “a nation is not defeated until it sells its women” thus referring to Prostitution as the ultimate degrading of a country. On this subject, the following are the countries in the whole world that has the highest rates of Prostitution : Dominican Republic, Brazil, Thailand, Philippines. Strangely, three of these countries are Catholic with one, Thailalnd, Buddhist. Does Lanka too want to go this way ? No.

    The present GoSL had the idea, not too long ago, of training women as Attendants & Nurses to work around the world. How far was this idea carried out ? It is an excellent idea and should be fully implemented. We would like to recommend that male Attendants too be trained to work around the world.

    Also, Lankans should practice Family Planning. The small family should be rewarded with less taxes – the larger the family, the greater the taxes,

    It is not a good idea to wait for GoSL to do everything. The public too should write in good ideas on any subject to improve our country. That is the way Democracy works.

  14. . Says:

    To Sena :

    The article you refer to is titled “Jihadis & Whores” by Spengler. It says “a nation is not defeated until it sells its women” thus referring to Prostitution as the ultimate degrading of a country. On this subject, the following are the countries in the whole world that has the highest rates of Prostitution : Dominican Republic, Brazil, Thailand, Philippines. Strangely, three of these countries are Catholic with one, Thailalnd, Buddhist. Does Lanka too want to go this way ? No.

    The present GoSL had the idea, not too long ago, of training women as Attendants & Nurses to work around the world. How far was this idea carried out ? It is an excellent idea and should be fully implemented. We would like to recommend that male Attendants too be trained to work around the world.

    Also, Lankans should practice Family Planning. The small family should be rewarded with less taxes – the larger the family, the greater the taxes,

    It is not a good idea to wait for GoSL to do everything. The public too should write in good ideas on any subject to improve our country. That is the way Democracy works.

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