Ajit Randeniya

Dear Reader, now that the foreign-sponsored impudent interruption to the post-war reconstruction of Sri Lanka is over, suppose you were an idiot; and suppose you were Sarath Fonseka; but I repeat myself. Please forgive me, what I meant to ask was that ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”How would Fonseka be feeling?

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ He lived in a foolƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s paradise since 19 May last year, claiming sole credit for the war victory. Then he launched himself to contest the battle to become president, assuming he would surpass President Rajapakse in popularity stakes. He was too dumb to see that his ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”campaignƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ based on alleged nepotism and corruption was as thin as a broken-rice soup made by boiling the shadow of a chook that had been starved to death!

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ The ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”campaignƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ was so slipshod, so puerile in its ideas and sentiments, its political analysis, and its strategies, his minders from Robert Blake to Somawansa Amerasinghe had outdone themselves. Having stumbled from one disaster to another, on 27 January Fonseka finally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and kept stumbling on, claiming that he had somehow been cheated by 1.8 million Sri Lankans!

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ Judging by FonsekaƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s performance during the campaign, it can be safely assumed that the fortune teller in India he rushed to before the election didn’t bother charging him! The Sri Lankan people showed him that they didnƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢t agree with his suggestion to take crime off the streets, because he would have taken it to the Temple Trees.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ As Lord Byron said of Viscount Castlereagh, (British foreign minister, 1812-22), Fonseka was; ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ…-no statesman, knowing nothing of commerce, political economy, or civil government, and supplying ignorance by bold presumptionƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”š‚. He demonstrated that he is fearfully ill-educated and quite tenth rate in his clarity of thought and speech (as one friend colourfully suggested, resembled the urine stream of a 90 year old).

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ The truth is that Fonseka was a man without any claim to be president of Sri Lanka, promoted by a motley crew who represented all pestilential filth that has been infesting Sri Lankan polity since the 1970s. This groupƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s collective history shows that they inculcate the morals of whores and their campaign organization skills show that they have all the dexterity of a single handed bandit!

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ The problem appeared to be that Fonseka did not seem to care which way he travelled, as long as he was in the driver’s seat. But he ended up like a mere cork, floating around in a current which he did not have any control of. In the fairyland mindset he was in, he thought he was rising like a rocket, but fell like a stick.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ FonsekaƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s impact on Sri Lankan history would be no more than the whiff of stale air emanating from the marshy lands of Ambalangoda. As Disraeli said of Gladstone, if Fonseka sank in the marsh that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out, that would be a calamity.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ Let us compile a collection of brief biographical sketches of Fonseka and his crew for posterity.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ Mangala Samaraweera, aka Avamangala: The prime mover behind the whole idea of the ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”common candidateƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢, with a view to exploit Fonseka’s unbackability; a man with the rare gift of trying to make his way in the world by pushing against the doors marked ‘Pull’. Seems to be wearing boots several sizes too small for his inflated ego.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ Avamangala appears to hold the self-righteous belief that he is a ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”great manƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ fighting for noble causes. Unfortunately, the belief does not seem to be shared by many others, than the immediate circle of cynics such as Tiran Alles. Others seem to believe that he has an intellect as thin as ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”piss on a hot rockƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢, and the people of the south hate him.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ In many peoplesƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ minds Avamangala may be a great poster but he is no great man; a silk stocking filled with dung. His performance in Parliament, crossing the floor more than the number of times his friend Anura Bandaranaike did, each time leaving behind a trail of slime, shows that the end of his political career was sealed by the Fonseka debacle.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ Ranil Wickremesinghe: The veteran of the demise of the UNP who brings to the fierce struggle of politics the tepid enthusiasm of a lazy Saturday afternoon cricket match. He’s the sort of hopeless case that gives failure a bad name. One could not even dignify him by calling him a stuffed shirt; he is simply a hole on the air.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ Ranil accepted the idea of Fonseka running as the ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”common candidateƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ with the sort of greeting a corpse would give to an undertaker; he had no other option. Ranil, with own his ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”familyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ background and corrupt record taking on the battle to end ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”family ruleƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ and corruption in Sri Lanka rang so hollow that the public failed to take any notice of it. As George Orwell said of Stanley Baldwin, here was a man ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”wallowing in corruption like a rhinoceros in an African poolƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢, promising to clean up the pool.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ The UNP has no future until they ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”retrenchƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ Ranil and renew party leadership. May happen anytime now!

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ Somawansa Amarasinghe: 1970s veteran of the JVP that dragged the Sri Lankan Left to the pits. Relies on imagination for his facts (as he did while claiming election corruption), and has a record of failing to convince most people of most things, and himself of anything. Enriched the Sinhala language with the word (or phrase?) Jill Maall?

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ Amerasinghe has committed every crime that does not require courage, a la the near wiping out of the proletariat in the late 1980s. Has the manners of a cad, Indian, US and UK spy, and his tongue drips poison.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ Appears to be a living practitioner of the Russian Social Democrat Georgi PlekhanovƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s theory of ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”not showing the bourgeoisie your behind (as Marxists do), but, on the contrary, looking them in the faceƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢. The contradiction in AmerasingheƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢s case is that he claims allegiances to Marxism, and when he looks Patricia Butenis in the face, it still looks like he is baring his back (congrats to the Lakbima cartoonist who captured the essence beautifully)! Our only advice to Amerasinghe is that: Don’t go out in public too often, people will think it’s Halloween.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ We also need to briefly look at Chandrika Kumaranatunga who seemed to have thought that she was doing the greatest favour to her ƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ”¹…”prodigyƒÆ’‚¢ƒ¢-¡‚¬ƒ¢-¾‚¢ Mangala by her last minute conversion. It created as much comotion in the political landscape as a ‘fart in the bath’.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ A person with the name Bandaranaike standing up against nepotism? Now we have heard everything! She beat Frederica Jansz, hands down, in stupidity stakes! Hope she will continue to provide career advice to Mangala. even after the ice thawed in London.

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ It is a relief that Fonseka and his supporters including foreign handlers are resting today like the items in a two-dollar shop in Hong Kong; everyone in their place, and no one fetching more than a rupee!

ƒÆ’-¡ƒ”š‚ Victory to the people!