Teaching the Grand Mother “How to Suck Eggs”
Posted on January 12th, 2011

Prof. Hudson McLean

WikiLeaks exposes another Secret Report by the USA Envoy in Sri Lanka to his masters and boffins in Washington, on the opinions of Erik Solheim Norwegian “Guru” Minister of International Development.

The documents expose how Solheim, in his own thinking, planned to “coach” the newly elected President Mahinda Rajapaksa, on the fine sensitivities of the ethnic problem, largely created by the British Colonial masters, the Indian Government and, lately facilitated by The Royal Nowegian Government.

The Nordic Nations, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Iceland, Greenland, Denmark have little or no understanding of the 3000+ year old cultures of Asia. As Vikings, and savages, their colinization (but failed) largely centred around Europe, with the exception of Denmark which ventured into Far East Trading.  Swedes bantered around Finland and into Russia until Czar Nikolai booted them out of Russian-Finnish border town of Vyborg.

Finns who are of Ungro-Ukranian descent found their way into the forests of Finland and lived as a secluded breed of farmers, largely inter-breeding with the occasional mix into the Northern Saamilainen, Russian, Swedish bloodlines. Until 1970’s one could not find a Pizzeria or a Chinese restaurant in the whole of Finland, let alone of any foreign cultural knowledge. Even bananas were an exotic fruit.

In my travels in Norway during the 1975, there were hardly any “coloureds” in any large city such as Oslo, Bergen, or from Tromso to Kristiansen except for a few Black Afro-American basketball players, whom the Norwegian girls adored for their reputed long “dicks”. As a sea-faring and a fisheries nation Norway suddenly discovered Sri Lanka with a tingling ethnic conflict.

Geographically, Sri Lanka was a perfect choice for a second look. Since my experience with Norway was in the fisheries industry, Norway reaction turned into the “Tuna Belt” which follows the flow with the warm-water stream from Hawaii through Indonesia-Malaysia into the Bay of Bengal, was a natural one. The fact that, there was a natural Deep Sea Water Port in Northern Sri Lanka within the “Tamil Eelam”, was to highlight later in life. The discovery of its strategic Maritime value and the British-built Oil Tank Farm was brought to the attention of the slow-thinking Norwegians by the Tamil Terrorists, as a commercial bait to interest the fishing nation Norway.

Until the 1980’s the blue-eyed, blond-haired ex Vikings, who had developed a passion for sex-with-animals (search Google for more illustrations), did not know the difference between the Tamils & the Sinhalese, except that both had black hair and brown skin.

During the late 1970’s desk research into a country did not have Google or Wikipedia for arm-chair convenience and comfort. It was thumbing through volumes of books, newspapers or Time/Newsweek dependent, or jumping into a cheap Tjaeraborg package tour to Colombo.

At that time Katunayake was a pretty desolate air strip, when the plane landed around 10.00 am, with the glowing sun, humid winds, smell of the Tropics, walk down the mobile ladder from the aircraft, into a hot, humid Immigration line.

The dust filled semi struggling ceiling fans were humming but did not help the European arriving from a freezing minus (-)20°C into a plus (+)35°C tropical open-oven. After a two hour wait on Immigration for passport clearence, the next stop was the creaking carousel, with half-opened suitcases stare-ing at you, and finding one’s grey Samsonite is a comforting miracle in itself.

The masses of natives in sarees and sarongs, the crows, swarm of flies, the bloody noise of car horns beeping, and the throng of enthusiastic touts greet the dazzled first time  visitor.

“Taxi Sir?”, “Change money Sir?” touts pull and push the pink-faced, perspiration-soaked visitor till he sees a piece of brown card-board with a hand-ethched “Mister Solheim”. Relieved, Erik shakes a moist hand of his chaperon with an unpronouncable name “Sathasivalingam Sangaripillai” or something similar.

Bundled into a jalopy without aircon, the vehicle bounces all the way through the wandering catlle, stray dogs, bicycles, buses, cars, bullock carts, millions of jay-walkers, to Galle Road Colpetty, a three-star joint Hotel Renuka, a Tamil owned hotel.

“Call me Siva”, the minder says, and he introduces his guest to the Receptionist and mutters something in a lingo, which perspiration-soaked Norwegian did not comprehend. “Let me get myself refreshed, and see you down in the Lobby Bar in half-hour. My name is Erik!” But evades shaking hands.

Whilst Siva sipped his Coke topped with ice cubes, he scanned through the local Tamil newspaper and got deep into the news flashes of several bombs exploding in Colombo and suburbs, Erik stood under the cold shower. The water trickled and sometimes burst into spontaneous blobs of brownish colour, nevertherless, it was a well needed comfort.

After several servings of Tjaeraborg airplane meals of cold salmon, salads, roast beef, mashed potatoes, the Viking adventurer was ready to savor the local delights.

Just past 2pm local time, Siva offered Erik the opportunity of a drink, which he gratefully accepted and requested a large Gin & Tonic. Ambling down to the basement restaurant, Erik could not but get the strong smell of ethnic cuisine. “Smells good” he said.

“Would you like to try our local dishes?” asked Siva. Flashing his gleeming Colgate smile, Erik said, “Lovely”.

Hotel Renuka was one decent place to find authentic Thosai, unless one is bold enough to visit Saraswathi or Greenland down the road.

At that time, I myself have stayed as a guest at Renuka several times, representing foreign commercial organizations seeking foreign aid-funded projects with the  Urban Development Authority (UDA)  and in a  dredging contract, as well as a Bunker Fuel discharge project for large vessels which cannot enter the Port of Colombo. Late Gamini Dissanayake, Late Lalith Athulathmudali were “king-pins” raking in millions of dollars in back-handers from several major projects and every minion from the peon to Minister “had to be taken care-of”. Flunkeys were sent to collect bank-drafts from UK, Sweden to be deposited in Switzerland Leichtenstein and Luxenbourg numbered accounts.

This was the period when Bribery & Corruption (B&C) was rising with the sun each morning, and ended up at the Oberroi or Intercontinental over drinks, and dinner. The Ministry of Finance & Planning was under Hon. Ronnie de Mel (clean to my knowledge) and the Prime Minister was Rt. Hon. Ranasingha Premadasa (B&C were his middle initials), both whom I knew personally and visited them in a non-business capacity.

And the blue-eyed Viking was introduced to the two Vadais and Thosai with the various embelishments. First the smell, the odd taste, then gulping a king-coconut, more Gin & T, the tongue burning, eyes running, nose dripping, several tissues to sponge the face………and a sudden need to rush to the toilet!

Trying to use the fingers, to eat the cuisine like Siva, did also soil the trousers, when in his rush to remove the trousers, Erik forgot to wash his hand first.  That done, the roll of toilet paper reduced to half,  he came down to the restaurant to restart where he left unfinished.

After the mind-boggling meal, Siva suggested that Erik took a rest before they started on the “Road to Eelam”, at around 8pm, with dinner at the residence of an important Tamil Eelam sympathiser, supporter and promoter.

Around 7.30 pm Siva knocked on Erik’s door. Freshly bathed Erik greeting Siva and invited him inside and offered Siva a Gin & Tonic which Siva politely refused and requested a Coke instead.

As they walked out of Renuka Hotel, on the side street was a gleaming cream coloured limousine, with its chauffeur standing outside, opened the rear door for the “white” guest, and Siva climbed into the front passenger seat.

Within a few minutes of airconditioned luxury, in the midst of dust, tooting horns, bicycles and tut-tuts, the vehicle arrived at a gated luxury mansion. The two guests were greeted by a white-sarong & tunic-ed man-servent, who led the the two men into a dimly lit large room filled with cigar smoke.

Next to a side table, in a reclining chair was an older gentleman, with a baloon of brandy in hand, without even exerting any pressure to get-up, extended his hand to Erik, and introduced himself as “Esmond Wickremesingha”.  Siva stayed his distance, as an obedient sub-servient pet dog.

Esmond Wickremesingha is from the wealthy Ruling Family of Ceylon! Comptroller of Newspapers, real estate and tea, rubber estates in his time. The father of Ranil, related to J.R.Jayawardane the Elephant-Eared UNP leader and the mentor-uncle of Ranil.

The main Agenda of Esmond was to get his son Ranil into the driving seat of Sri Lanka, hook or by crook, direct elections or through the jungles of Killinocchi.

Prime Minister Ranasingha Premadasa through his alleged mafia connections to “sarong mudalalis”, who changed into Western gear mid-flight to London to check bank accounts and a spot of shopping, somehow managed to “rub-off” aspiring leadership contenders, who were also minting money, through highly selected “middle-men” or commercial brothers-in-law in Colombo. Airplane disaster and an explosion took care of Lalith Athulathmudali and Ga’ Dissanayake.

Time was ripe for the next move to rid of the “sarong johnny” Premadasa, who was buying into real estate in the UK in a big way, whilst educating his son Sajith Premadasa (now Leader-of-Opposition-in-waiting)  in London.

Edmond, unlike his son Ranil, has a razor-sharp mind, a clever thinker, a strategic planner. He saw the importance of an independent country such as Norway, a role which could be developed, in his “grand vision” or the next generation.

Now comes a gullible pink-faced Viking looking for a place in Norwegian Government and enthusiastically dives into the Tamil Trap.

Dinner was conducted in majestic colonial style, with servants humming around the table, offering an array of traditional local cuisine, fine wines, with a honey-filled Watalappan to wrap things off before a digestive of  a large balloon of French Cognac and a Havana cigar.

Erik was thoroughly impressed. Such civility, dignity in a Third World developing country in the bush? He was sold. On his return, he did produce a glowing positive report on Sri Lanka, his meetings with the rich & famous, several rendezvous with important Tamil Tiger activists, and thought about his personal role in the entire schematic  of carving Sri Lanka into two!

After his unofficial role as a Peace Facilitator, meetings with Adele and Anton Balasinghams, Solheim presented the strategic political and commercial benefits of a divided Sri Lanka to Norway, largely based on “Human Rights”.  Fisheries was a major commercial topic, whilst exploring possibilities of Offshore Oil and Minerals.

With other major players such as India, China, UK, Japan in the current political theatre, Norway had little or nothing to offer to the Sri Lankan Government, other than some minor funded projects.

During the 30 odd years, Norway tried their best to cultivate the Tamil Tigers, accepting a few hundred thousand refugees or parasites into Norway, building a political-fan base of potential voters, and a prestigious Norwegian government post for himself. The current position of Ministerial Portfolio has, according to published information, given Erik a pensionable job as well as a well-funded revenue source to fund his personal life-style from alleged Tax-Free funding gifts from the LTTE coffers.

Within a couple of decades, Erik becomes, in his warped mentality, offers to be the coach / teacher / Mentor of the Sinhala-Tamil ancient culture, dating back to 3000+ years, to a Sinhala political leader, who hails from a long family history of culture, politics, education, hands-on-experience et al. (LoL)

Trying to undermine President Mahinda Rajapaksa, and trying to be his Coach/Mentor, to  the saviour of Sri Lanka, from a disaster created by external influences of Europe, USA, Japan and the famous double-faced Israel, is like………  Teaching Your Grand Mother “How to Suck Eggs”.

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8 Responses to “Teaching the Grand Mother “How to Suck Eggs””

  1. Sirih Says:

    How true… All these issues arises due to lack of foreign policy and proper communication from SL govt….
    As great powers say, torture is “enhance interrogation” and cold blooded murder is called “collateral damage”..

    We need to articulate our language to suit them as well.

  2. Geeth Says:

    Dear Professor McLean,
    I do not know if you are a Sri Lankan, European or an American. But I do know you have demonstrated unparalleled sympathy toward our country through your articles. If you are a European, you must be one among very few of those who has a soft corner about this tiny nation troubled by the west. To my understanding, your kind is very uncommon among Europeans. If you are an American, the answer is still the same because the modern morality and their ethics of both Europe and the USA have been shaped up by protestant ethics. To our standards, Protestant ethics means ‘no ethics’ at all. The Protestant notion of right and wrong always has been conditioned by the profitability related to their decisions.

    But for me, you are thousand times more Sri Lankan than some of our folks in Colombo. However, if you are a foreigner, I personally believe that Sri Lankans must consider awarding a ‘People’s Award’ to you recognizing your dedication and commitment toward our country’s well being throughout this most difficult times of our history.

    Dear professor, I agree with you when you say that… “…Erik becomes, in his warped mentality, offers to be the coach / teacher / Mentor of the Sinhala-Tamil ancient culture, dating back to 3000+ years…(is like)…teaching Your Grand Mother “How to Suck Eggs”. At the same time let me add something that may support your argument because it shows the genesis of this Solheim mentality of entire Europe.

    You may agree with me if I say that European man believes that he is the most evolved variety of human kind. This belief is not just crazy gossips and utterances of Nordic mad cows; but are the belief of the institutionalized western knowledge that influence their politics, diplomacy and entire western thinking and even entire global knowledge. This ideology has been fully justified by western philosophy. Hegel, the most influential philosopher of modern Europe said… ““Universal history goes from East to West. Europe is absolutely the end of universal history. Asia is its beginning…in its absolute infancy. (Hegel reduces Asian Grandmother into mere infancy [writer]) Germany France, Denmark, the Scandinavian countries are the heart of Europe. (Where universal history ends [writer]) (Hegel)

    Again he said…“The German spirit is the spirit of the new world. (That is the west, including USA [writer]). Its aim is the realization of absolute Truth as the unlimited self-determination of freedom—that freedom which has its own absolute form of itself as its purport…. The principle has been realized, the idea of Christianity has reached its full realization.” (Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, “The Philosophy of History” trans. J. Sibree [New York. 1956])

    In Hegel’s terms, universal history means nothing but the history of the evolution of mankind. In which capitalism is the natural climax of the evolution, in other words, he enthrones capitalism as the spontaneous culmination of man’s evolution. Through this philosophical blunder, European man not only creating an ethical problem, but also creates a spatial and temporal difference between Asia and Europe. They jump into the future of the history (evolution) while pushing us into the past (of evolution), and indirectly branding us as less evolved, less civilized.
    But during the 3000 years of our history or 5000 years of known history of mankind, nobody knew about Solheims until Columbus accidently bounced in the Caribbean islands one morning in 1492 while desperately searching a route to connect with India.

    Although it was the truth of the European man, according to Hitler, Nordic race had Carte Blanche to plunder the entire world by their birth right. In 1930, addressing some school gathering Hitler said…. “If anyone had asked Lord Robert Clive, (who established the military and political supremacy of the East India Company in Bengal [writer]) by what right he had seized the riches of Bengal, he would have replied, “I am an Englishman!” Racial superiority entitled the British to the possession of India;’ Hitler informed a student body in Munich. Accordingly, Hitler considered the anti-colonial movement in India as a rebellion of the lower Indian race against the superior English Nordic race. “The Nordic race has a right to rule the world and we must take this racial right as the guiding star of our foreign policy” he concluded in 1930. (Churchill’s Secret War, the British India and the Ravaging of India During World War II, Madhusree Mukerjee, 2010)
    According to Hitler Nordic race means entire European race including English and German races.

    Churchill was no different; he was the English Führer, believed in the superiority of Nordic race like Hitler did. Contending with the opposition of Attlee in the war cabinet, in regard to Indian independence Churchill noted …“India has been profoundly affected by the changed relationship between Europeans and Asiatics which began with the defeat of Russia by Japan at the beginning of the century. The hitherto axiomatic acceptance of the innate superiority of the European over the Asiatic sustained a severe blow (this notion of innate superiority is very philosophical, and we will come to it later [writer]) …the reverses which we and the Americans are sustaining from the Japanese at the present time will continue this process…The fact that we are-necessarily- driven to a belated recognition of China as an equal and of Chinese as fellow fighters for civilization against barbarism makes the Indian ask why he, too, cannot be master in his own house. Similarly, the success against the axis of a semi-oriental people, the Russians, lends weight to the hypothesis that the East is now asserting itself against the long dominance of the west. A pan-Asiatic movement lead by Japan has been recognized as a danger; a Pan-Asiatic block of our allies (meaning with China and India) is a possibility that should not be ignored. (Transfer of Power, quoted from Narendra Singh Sarila 2005)

    Solheim comes to tech Asian Grandmother to suck eggs with swollen headed attitude constructed throughout the modern age by his predecessors and their philosophy. As a protestant, he must have heard what another prominent European intellectual Max Webber has said reasoning this superiority.
    Max Weber in his “The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism” asked “Why did not the scientific, the artistic, the political or the economic development there [in China and India] enter upon that path of rationalization which is peculiar to the occident?” Here what he meant by “that path” means the path such as Enlightenment, Reformation and French Revolution.

    Dear professor, now the question we Lilliput Sri Lankans have to ask from these Europeans is, what the hell this superior Nordic race were doing during entire 5000 years of known history of mankind without being evolved into such heights, and why they waited to take “that path” until they discovered Amerindia? And why European man waited in the periphery of India and China until they began their pillage of precious mettles and other resources, committed mass murder and profiting out of slavery out there in their colonies? The shameless part is this process of their ugly looting hasn’t been ceased yet. They still ask for more blood. Solheim comes with the consciousness of this spirit of the blood sucking Enlightenment of Europe to teach Asian Grandmother to suck eggs.

    Thank you professor.

  3. Raj Says:

    Thank you Sir. Excellent article as always.

  4. Fran Diaz Says:

    Dear Prof ! thanks for connecting the dots – there were some missing pieces in the Near History Story of Lanka which you have neatly put in place !

    “Were we asleep in Lanka’s long night of ignorance
    Lost, dreaming in the mists of subjugation and greed
    When thieves stole our birthright, our forefathers dream
    Now eyes wide open, advance in wisdom to lead …”

  5. jay-ran Says:


    All Sri Lankans must be very mindfull of the TREACHEROUS attitudes of many Politicians who try to grab power BY HOOK OR CROOK.

    This white skinned NORDIC’S Action to advice MR How to hace peace is like ” A GRAND CHILD TRYING TO TEACH THE GRANDMA, HOW TO HAVE SEX!!!

  6. A. Sooriarachi Says:

    What is sad in all this is that even the very friendly countries like Japan opted to play a double game just to please their master the USA. I say this because Japan did show its gratitude to SriLanka and its past leader JR Jayawardena by gifting the Jayawardena Pura Hospital as well as giving aid for many projects, for supporting them at the SanFrancisco conference and influencing the decision to let them remain an independent unitary state, though under UN controls. But during the conflict between SriLanka and the LTTE criminals supported by their wealthy LTTE diaspora, Japan allowed itself to get pushed by the West and act against SriLankan interests. One of Japan’s despicable acts was the reported construction of an underwater escape route for Prabakaran and his gang of criminals on the pretext of Tsunami assistance. However, a good point to note is Japan still did not cave in to the undue pressure placed on it by those controversial and credibility lacking Human Rights groups such as HRW, AI & ICJ, to stop aid to SriLanka. Japan must detach itself from Norway/UK//USA/EU agenda and help Sri Lanka to develop as a unitary state for all communities.

  7. R.M.W Says:

    Dear Prof. Hudson, I am impressed by your gasp of the cultural divide and the psychological makeup of the people you speak of. Based in Oslo I too grasped these qualities and tried hard to impart it to locals in Lanka.
    The truth being, the Norwegians are an easy going lot and can easily be taken for a ride. They like to think they are fair because they themselves were colonised, first by Denmark and then by Sweden. Above all their ‘Germanic’ mental makeup makes it easy to exploit them as these Christian clique, did.
    We can point to the central Christian characters that got Norway into this pickle, as; Arne fjørtoft, Jon Westborg, Vidar Helgesen, the earlier Christian priest and Prime Minster Kjell Magne Bondevik, and last but not the least Eric Solheim. If one digs deep enough, one is bound to find that there is a government within the government in Norway, and the foreign policy on Lanka is manipulated by these power crazed bunch of Christians who supported terrorism in Lanka, as an undeclared holy war.
    The path to grabbing power was as a rule, first initiated by getting a public consensus. This was brought about through the editors of the main paper, which brain washes the Norwegian public on behalf of the UD. This can be proved by a simple incident; how all the news media in Norway gave out the same story on the same day on Falk Rovik.
    Such brain washing process offers the Foreign office ‘a carte Blank’ to act on the Norwegian peoples’ behalf. To this day nobody ever confronted the UD with the central question: – How much money went to finance Jaffna Tamil catholic terrorist directly and indirectly from their hidden funds. Indeed by following the money trail, we can safely nab the bone fide culprits. The facts are hidden not only from the Norwegian public but within the foreign office itself; because each clique deals with foreign policy specifics, and each clique is compartmentalised i.e. one bunch does not know what the other bunch is doing. In this connection it is interesting to note that Bondevik acted as Foreign Minister before his tenure as Prime Minster. So he is here, there and everywhere.
    Currently how Bondevik swindled the pension system to feather his own nest is irritating the Norse Folk. But swindling the pension system is small potatoes compared to what this Christian gang did in Sri Lanka. In time it will Dawn on these ‘Holier than thou’ jokers that, ‘the truth is like oil, and will always emerge to the surface eventually’ and then they would be caught with their pants down. But in truth as the good professor pointed out, I found Solheim to be a ‘simple minded patsy’.
    Indeed how can this 30 year tolerance of Norway be compared to the 2500 year old Sinhalese Buddhist tolerance? One can imagine what this shallow Christian clique, would have organised if they had the power; most likely a new inquisition. If the Sinhalese were anything like the Vikings of by gone ages then there would be no Tamils left to make claims of homelands in Lanka. Indeed as appropriately stated, it would be as if ‘teaching the Grand Mother How to Suck Eggs’.
    Mahinda Weerasinghe

  8. Fran Diaz Says:

    We can only learn from the mistakes of other Buddhist countries like Japan in the past … so we should take good care of the Citizens of the country and get Self Sufficient as much as possible.
    His Excellency the President has done a wonderful job and we wish him and GoSL the very best.

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