Keep on cracking jokes, Ukraine!
Posted on April 1st, 2014

Courtesy Pravda

April 1 is a day for jokes and fun. In this article, we wanted to recollect best jokes of recent times that deserve to be remembered for ever and ever.

The yellow jersey of the leader belongs to U.S. Secretary John Kerry, who said:  “You just don’t in the 21st century behave in 19th century fashion by invading another country on completely trumped up pre-text.”

NATO Secretary General Rasmussen comes next, who in the days of the 15th anniversary of the NATO bombing of the capital of Yugoslavia called Russia’s “military invasion” of Ukraine the biggest threat to security of Europe since the “Cold War.”

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The best document to match the atmosphere of the Fool’s Day is the agreement from February 21, which its guarantors threw into the bin the next day (Foreign Affairs Ministers of Germany, France and Poland). The Association Agreement between Ukraine and the EU, which Yanukovych refused to sign, is a funny one too. The statement from the self-appointed Prime Minister Yatsenyuk was a blast: “We have postponed the signing of the economic section of this document, taking into account the concerns that the free trade zone may lead to negative consequences for industrial regions.”

Generally, jokes from Ukraine have been the best recently. This is understandable. As Gogol wrote: “It’s best when they all pack into a tight crowd and guess riddles or just carry chatter. My goodness! What not can they tell you!”

These days we have heard a lot about the absence of militants and fascists on Maidan. A good Fool’s Day joke came from Dmitry Yarosh, the leader of Ukraine’s nationalist “Right Sector” movement, who claimed that Foreign Minister Avakov worked for Russia’s FSB. European politicians responded that it was the “Right Sector” and Yarosh that work for the FSB and Putin personally.

The list of jokes continues with a statement from Ukraine’s ambassador to the UN, Mr. Sergeyev, who said that all charges against Bandera Nazi collaborators at the Nuremberg Trials were unfair and fabricated.

We were also told that “any citizen of Russia can come to Maidan and personally see that there are no anti-Russian activities there.”

The miraculously healed Yulia Tymoshenko has been a great joker too. At first, she, sitting on a wheelchair, promised Maidan demonstrators that Ukraine would very soon become a member of the European Union. Then the lady stated that only 34 percent voted at the Crimea referendum. The latest April Fool’s joke was a declaration of her income in 2013.

We can not leave without attention the promises from several witty Ukrainian presidential candidates to return the Crimea quickly and without problems. Arseny
Yatsenyuk said at a meeting with Canadian Prime Minister that Ukraine was ready to take its place in the Group of Eight should Western nations exclude Russia from the club.

Sa-called president of Ukraine Turchynov said that “there are no prerequisites for  federalization in Ukraine. A group of comedians from the Verkhovna Rada has initiated denunciation of the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons to turn Ukraine into a nuclear power.

Prior to this, several ukro-media outlets entertained the world with a news report saying that U.S. sent George H.W. Bush aircraft carrier and three submarines to the Black Sea to rescue Ukraine.

on March 31, the Ukrainian Foreign Ministry issued a note of protest in connection with Russian Prime Minister’s visit to the Russian Crimea. That was a cool joke as well: “Uncoordinated presence of an official of another state on the territory of Ukraine without prior agreement does not comply with the rule of law.” One shall assume that Ukraine will issue notes of protest every time Putin’s motorcade passes by “Ukraine Hotel” on Kutuzov Avenue in Moscow.

A posh joke came from German Foreign Minister Steinmeier: “Russia should provide economic and financial assistance to Ukraine.” Against this background, a proposal from Vladimir Zhirinovsky, the notorious leader of LDPR, for Poland, Hungary and Romania to demand a referendum should be conducted on the accession of seven regions of western Ukraine to these countries seems to be a serious topic for discussion.

In general, we believe that April 1, 2014 is a great April’s Fool Day indeed. Great achievements have been made. Keep on cracking jokes, Ukraine!


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