Upendra Jayasinghe
When Ven. Soma Thera asked his pupils to go home and tell their fathers to stop drinking, my sister and I naively followed his advice, without any real expectation of success. To our surprise, it worked. From that day forward, our father never touched another drop of alcohol.
![signal-2024-12-04-222405.jpeg]()
Looking back, I realise how fortunate I was to be a student of Ven. Soma Thera. At just eight years old, I began attending Daham Pasala (Sunday School) in Springvale, later moving to Noble Park. The Sri Lankan community in Victoria was small back then, and its heart was at No. 21 Rich Street, where Ven. Soma Thera presided as the head monk of the Buddhist Vihara Victoria.
His teachings shaped not only my childhood but also the principles I hold today. Through simple, relatable lessons, Ven. Soma Thera planted seeds of wisdom that continue to grow within me, influencing my choices and outlook on life. This is the story of how those lessons, particularly the five precepts, transformed my perspective and helped me lead a life rooted in compassion and integrity.
In those early years, while his charisma was evident, he was still refining his delivery and confidence. Attending his sermons, I observed how he “tested” the teachings, experimenting with the delivery of doctrines, incorporating illustrative stories, and gauging how best to connect with his audience. The eloquent orator he later became was the result of tireless dedication to studying the Dhamma and sharing it with a growing circle of captivated disciples.
What made Ven. Soma Thera so influential was the simplicity of his teachings. He believed that if the seemingly uneducated laypeople of ~2,500 years ago could grasp the Buddhist doctrine, then anyone today should be able to understand its basic principles. His approach was direct yet profound, breaking down complex ideas into relatable, actionable lessons. The no nonsense approach was the Ven. Soma Thera way.
At Sunday School, he emphasised the importance of observing the five precepts, which he described as the foundation for ethical living:
- Refrain from killing: Extend compassion and non-violence to all living beings, not just humans.
- Refrain from taking what is not given: Avoid stealing, exploiting, or taking anything that does not belong to you.
- Refrain from sexual misconduct: Avoid behaviours that harm others, including adultery and exploitation.
- Refrain from false speech: Speak truthfully, avoid gossip, and refrain from harsh or cruel words.
- Refrain from intoxicating drinks and drugs: Stay mindful by avoiding substances that impair judgment and ethical conduct.
He often reminded us that these precepts are easier for children to follow than for adults, urging us to start young and make these habits a natural part of our lives. With patience and clarity, he explained each precept in detail, planting seeds of understanding that would shape our actions.
For the remainder of this article, I want to reflect on how two of these precepts, refraining from killing and refraining from intoxicants, had a particularly profound impact on my life.
Refrain from killing
The concept of refraining from killing was easy to grasp, especially the way Ven. Soma Thera explained it. He asked us to imagine being a dog, helplessly beaten with a stick. The vivid imagery resonated with all of us as children, instilling a sense of empathy and compassion. Yet, one question lingered in my young mind: if we are taught not to harm or kill animals, why do we eat them?
At Dana (almsgiving), it was common to see dishes of fish, chicken, and lamb served to both laypeople and monks. Beef, however, was noticeably absent, as it was considered sacred in Sri Lanka and parts of India. When I raised my concerns with elders, they assured me that we were not directly killing the animals, we were merely purchasing meat that had already been prepared. While technically correct, this reasoning did not sit well with me. As I grew older and began to understand economics, the reality became clear: animals were being killed because of the demand we, as consumers, created.
The notion of “humane” killing further troubled me. The word “humane” evokes love and compassion, making the idea of humane killing inherently contradictory. The reality of slaughter, no matter how it is justified, cannot align with compassion.
In 2016, after five months of intensive study to ensure I wouldn’t suffer from any nutrient deficiencies, I made the decision to give up all animal products. The transformation was profound. Removing animal products from my diet not only aligned with my moral values but also significantly improved my physical health. Today, the only supplement I take is Vitamin B12, and my blood test results consistently show optimal health.
As I’ve entered middle age, many of my friends and peers now struggle with ailments such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes. Despite a family history of all these conditions, I remain healthy and energetic—proof that genetics are not the sole determinant of health.
The seed that Ven. Soma Thera planted all those years ago has grown into a deeply rooted conviction. It has shaped my life in alignment with the true meaning of Panatipata veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami: to abstain from taking life.
I encourage anyone reading this to consider extending this precept into their own lives. Reducing the harm we cause, even in small ways, can profoundly impact our world and keep our hands as free of blood as possible.
Refrain from Intoxicating Drinks and Drugs
One Sunday at Daham Pasala, Ven. Soma Thera posed a simple yet profound question to the students gathered before him: Raise your hand if your father or mother smokes.” A few hands went up. Then he asked, Now raise your hand if your father or mother drinks alcohol.” My sister and I hesitated but eventually raised our hands along with most of the other students.
My father was never a heavy drinker. He would occasionally enjoy a beer at social gatherings, often surrounded by friends. They’d sit around a coffee table adorned with snacks and bottles of varying shapes and colours, chatting and laughing. I suppose, like many others, my father drank to fit in with the group.
I remember that day vividly. Ven. Soma Thera issued a challenge, that resonated deeply with all of us. Do you love your parents?” he asked, and we all responded enthusiastically with a resounding Yes!” In hindsight, it was a gentle form of emotional manipulation, but it came from a place of compassion. He then encouraged us to go home, hold the hand of the parent who drank or smoked, and ask them to stop that very day. To my sister and me, this seemed like a reasonable request; one we assumed every child would follow. So, naively but earnestly, we did it.
To our surprise, our father listened. He promised us he would never drink again. That promise has held strong for over three decades.
For us children, this became the norm. Growing up in a household where alcohol was absent, I never felt the need to drink or smoke. The opportunities, however, were plenty. As a DJ performing at nightclubs and events across Melbourne, I’d often be handed drink vouchers the moment I walked in the door. But the simple act of Ven. Soma Thera inspiring my father to quit set an example that kept me grounded.
The ripple effect of that small yet bold challenge has been profound. Not only did my father’s choice impact his own life, but it also shaped mine. Time will tell if this will also pass onto my own children.
Am I sharing this to boast? Not at all. Like anyone else, I am deeply flawed, just ask my wife. I’m quick-tempered, I’ve been known to use colourful language, and I have little patience for culinary atrocities like putting peas in cashew curry!
But if there’s one lesson I’ve carried forward, it’s the importance of leading by example. Ven. Soma’s simple challenge taught me that even small actions, when rooted in love, can create lasting change.
My Superpower
The reason I’m sharing this is rooted in a profound lesson I learned from Ven. Soma Thera. Anyone who has listened to his sermons knows that he never sugar-coated his words. If he believed something to be true, he would speak it plainly, regardless of whether it might offend others. In today’s world, where words are often met with hypersensitivity and offence is easily taken, his example reminds us of the importance of standing firm for what is right, even if it means upsetting a small group of people.
For me, this has become my superpower: staying true to my convictions, unaffected by peer pressure or my environment. This is why I can still outrun my children and remain fit and healthy, choosing a chickpea salad over a hormone-filled beef burger. It’s why I’m always the first one on the dance floor and the last to leave, fully enjoying life without relying on external stimulants.
If there’s one takeaway I hope to impart, it’s this: as parents, we set the blueprint for our children. They learn by observing us. The saying Monkey see, monkey do” rings true, and it is our actions, more than our words, that shape their lives.
By standing firm in your beliefs and leading by example, you can inspire the same strength and resilience in the next generation.
The Peer Pressure
I remember an incident at a club a few years ago. I was on the dance floor, fully immersed in my moves, when a friend approached me and asked for a twenty-dollar bill. Without hesitation, I reached into my pocket, handed him the note, and continued dancing. Ten minutes later, he returned and handed me the money back. I assumed he no longer needed it or that the EFTPOS machine had started working again.
Reflecting on this now, I realise how casually such moments occur amidst a growing issue in our society. Australia is currently facing a cocaine epidemic, and resisting the temptation to conform isn’t easy. Peer pressure to indulge, whether it’s just one drink” or something more dangerous can be relentless. If you’re not grounded in your values, it’s easy to slip into a spiral that feels harmless at first but quickly gains momentum.
A Sikh friend of mine once shared a profound analogy: we need to pour so much goodness into our children that their cups overflow. That way, when someone tries to pour negativity into them, there will simply be no room. This is exactly what Ven. Soma Thera did for me all those years ago. Through his teachings and guidance, he filled my cup with resilience, values, and a strong sense of right and wrong, enough to withstand the pressures of the world.
The lesson here is clear: building inner strength and nurturing it in others is the key to staying true to your convictions. Whether it’s on the dance floor, at a social gathering, or in life’s more challenging moments, the ability to say no is not just an act of willpower, it’s a reflection of the foundation you’ve built over time.
Final Thought
As I look back, I’m deeply grateful for the naivety and stubbornness that led me to follow the guidance of Ven. Soma Thera. Too often, people wait for the perfect moment when all the stars align before taking action. But life rarely offers such ideal conditions. Avoid allowing the pursuit of perfection to hinder progress, even if it’s just a small step forward.
So take that first step, no matter how small it may seem, and trust in the journey.
To your health, wealth, and happiness!
Theruwan Saranai
Upendra Jayasinghe
Sri Lanka crisis: Gotabaya Rajapaksa appoints veteran politician as PM Ranil Wickremesinghe from the opposition will form a cabinet as the president defies calls to quit.
👉👉 මෙය ලංකාවට තරමක් ආගන්තුක හා පුදුම හිතෙන කතාවකි. 