MMDA and Wali : “To be, or not to be, that is the question”
Posted on August 31st, 2018

Dr. Mareena Thaha Reffai, Dehiwela

The famous line that begins Prince Hamlet’s soliloquy in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “To be, or not to be, that is the question” is probably the most cited statement in all classical drama. … “To be or not to be” is in fact, not the question. It is a wrong question.” So says  Google !

Yes, regarding the wali too, it is the wrong question. It should be ”What should the wali do?”

We can excuse Justice saleem Marsoof, a life time dear family friend of ours, a he has no daughters.  But would  all the other members in the panel agree to their daughters – if they have one – to go get married at 18 without the consent of the parents to any Tom, Dick or Harry?   Or even to any Mohamed, Ahamed or Seyyed? I doubt it. I certainly will not.

We must understand the concept of wali in Islam. It is not a matter of a monstrous father handing over his infant daughter with no consent whatsoever   to a horrible doddering old man!   Islam lays down cohesive, comprehensive  rules for a Girl’s marriage giving her independence, dignity, love and acceptance while also assuring the groom that the  protection of the parents and her family continuously even after the marriage. That’s what wali is about.

The bride’s consent is a must in Islam. And the girl being given in marriage by the wali  doesn’t mean it is an authoritarian usurping of the right of the bride, rather the responsible consent of the family – not necessarily the father alone – and the wali represents this fact at the solemn function of the wedding. This also indicates to the groom – and his family, the wali is still responsible for the bride throughout her life. The decision to give her in marriage to a certain person  is most  of the time not decided by the father alone rather by the whole family –often even with consultation with extended family, and father or the wali  represents the family.

The notion that Imam Abu Hanifa  allowed marriage without wali is a misconception. People must know the strongest version is that the marriage is not valid without a wali.

Now again, just like the matter of marriageable age, this proposal to allow marriage of girls without wali came about based on wrong perception. How many marriages have taken place where the father surreptitiously or forcefully gave the daughter in marriage to a total stranger?   Let’s find out and if it is true, then let’s take measures to stop it, rather than opening the flood gates for every girl to go get married to anyone who gives her a missed call, or send a love letter or  smiled at her on the road. Who in their proper sense will think that every girl at  18 years of age  is fit enough to know all the facts about the boy she wants to get married to, and will make a proper decision? Come on.

If anyone is in touch with reality and have seen the girls who eloped with boys and are suffering, often abandoned by her husband and her family, often with two or three children, they will shudder at the thought of allowing girls to get married without wali.

What we need to do is to educate the girls on their rights and more so educate the fathers of the travails of unhappy marriages. Pre marital counselling, both to the bride and groom,  is a sorely neglected need of our society.

Just giving the ass’s freedom for the girls to marry without a wali is not going to solve the problem- it will only confound it.

Sent by:

Dr. Mareena Thaha Reffai,

Dehiwela

One Response to “MMDA and Wali : “To be, or not to be, that is the question””

  1. Ancient Sinhalaya Says:

    It’s the most important issue at the moment of course! Start production of votes early as possible and get to a
    bloodbath quickly. Myanmar, bangalis crept over the border and multiplied and multiplied thinking the old disgusting,
    dirty, subhuman trick worked in the olden days to turn old Buddhist iran, afganishthan, pakesthan, maldives,
    malaysia, indonesia to turn to mussies within a few hundred years of their arrivals with the baby machines. It worked
    since people didn’t know until the menace came to their doorsteop. But today’s, tv, internet, mobile phone age
    people going to find out and start fighting back. Surely this uncontlled breeding going to end up in a bloodbath.
    Do mussies care? Brainwahed (brain dead) mussies think natives will hand it over on a plate once a few murders
    done. Will they?

    In this year 2018, mussies can stop baby machines and read some interesting books like Charles Darwin’s
    Theory of Evolution, his book The Tree of Life which explains how all these species came to being including the
    two-legged creatures, NASA’s missions which showed the world the earth’s size is a grain of sand in the vast vast
    vast universe where distances are measured in LIGHT YEARS (that’s 186,000x60x60x365 miles) and to this day
    no scientist knows the edges of it. Distance to the Sun from us 93 million miles! Look at the night sky and you see millions of stars. They look so tiny because they are billions of miles away from us. Some of them could even be
    suns in a different solar system. To think a god is responsible for such a vast vast vast vast place is utter lunacy.
    After all this is year 2018. Not year 0000 or 600.

    While Buddhism passes the science test with flying colours, all these mythical god based religions fail miserably.
    Those are religions of conveniences only. Buddhism isn’t a religion of convenience and where it has no place for
    caste systems, inequality etc.. So Buddhism disappeared quickly in india. Insted people revert back to religions
    of conveniences which teach you to cheat yourself, only to pay for in the next life. Buddhism and science is one
    and same. So we can understand these guys want to increase vote production. We have no objection if they doing
    it pakesthan, saudi, bangi, malay etc. etc. Not in Sri Lanka! Your uncontrolled breeding only taking us to a another
    bloodbath!

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