Ratanapala

4 May 15

While coming to Sri Lanka he would have flown over the middle east. It would have brought him a smile thinking of Iraq, Afghanistan, Tunisia, Libya and Egypt, countries where democracy and human rights are now in full sway and people rejoicing their newfound freedom devoid of dictators. All success stories of American foreign policy! Different parties are all vying for power. What more democracy could there be, than a proper representation of all parties concerned whether warring or not. Now that we have removed the dictators, democracy will manifest! We can plunder at will, the age old adage – Divide and Rule still works wonders! Brits knew it well – we are still clumsy at it! It is better than Might is Right but our might is Our Way! We are the indispensable nation in the world!

Things are all going as per our agenda – unfettered access to their wealth – Oil first! His mind would have wandered a little further North to Bosnia and Ukraine too as successes for American foreign policy. Yes that bungling Putin if not for him we could have easily Balkanized Russia too after that drunkard Yeltsin! He would have thought of Syria as “work in progress”. Our allies the Saudis have just entered Yemen – soon there will be democracy there too! A few chopping of heads here and there will add color to the democracy and human rights tapestry.

Osama Bin Laden – he is history. Recurring glimpses of Obama and Hilary Clinton watching the killing of Osama at the Whitehouse situation room! One the Commander–in–Chief and the other a wannabe! That was hilarious. They were both wetting their pants. That picture is worth a Billion Dollars.

Yes, Benghazi – blundering Hillary Clinton! That didn’t go according to plan. Poor guy our Ambassador –what’s his name – anyway he is history now. Had Hillary Clinton made Bill Clinton ‘happy’ there wouldn’t have been a need for a Monica Lewinsky. If not for Monica there wouldn’t have been a Blue Dress”! If not for that dress things would have been different. Al Gore would have been President and the world would have been a different place altogether – Who knows! Another disaster waiting to happen – think of a Hillary Presidency! Now back to where I am passing over.

He would have been a little unhappy about Pakistan now in Chinese orbit and looked with disdain at the Gwadar port he was passing over and the huge highway under construction all the way from China to the warm water port of Gwadar- perhaps needing a complete think over – Pakistan a big mess after years serial bungling in trying to bring democracy and human rights to this Muslim nation! May be the Brits would have done a better job there!

He would have been happy about India – as a country that is awaiting balkanization. This country is too big for itself trying to throw a punch way beyond it can afford – just think of the nearly a billion still living in poverty and they still want to be major power- yes the work is going a pace to balkanize. Hilary did a good thing going straight to visit that aging prima donna Jaya Lalitha Sad she is in jail now. Yes, time will bring glad tidings – Evangelisation a necessary prelude to balkanisation is in full swing another Phillippines in the making! A few feathers in the new Maha Raja’s cap will keep him happy and firmly in the American lap – for the time being – just you wait Modi – you are our next Gadaffi!

Feeling a bit apprehensive about Nepal that unfortunate country – yes a massive earthquake has hit the region. America would have sent their knights in shining armor in their latest flying machines only if there was oil or anything useful other than goat cheese and cow dung. But this is an earthquake – an act of God, these things happen all the time when God is angry – who are we to question God? – people die – nothing new in it – just like Katrina or hurricane Andrew a mess – not worth getting involved, not worth getting our feet wet and not fun like sending drones to bring democracy and oil to us – drones piloted from within US – we sit at home and sell democracy, human rights and arms and bring oil and wealth to enrich the one percent – damn the ninety nine percent! I am rich, my family is rich and my friends are all rich – damn the rest! Those black idiots in Ferguson and now Baltimore what are they thinking? Hilarious – all this happening under a Black President! He is my boss – these thoughts I will keep for myself.

A thought comes to his mind – from the Vietnam days when he was fighting against injustice – Stop the War in Vietnam! Where am I now? Secretary of State of the same nation that bombed Vietnam to oblivion, that killed and continue to kill and maim millions in the middle east. Not bad for a peacenik! I am the harbinger of the Good News – Democracy and Human rights to all. God Bless America and let us exploit the rest, I am the one percent!

Just a fleeting thought how far would Obama have his daughters from a drone strike? Worthy of a worldwide tweet! Let us see how the world will respond! This talk about collateral damage! Boggles the mind. How many children are suffering due to causes related to American foreign policy? No no must get away from these distracting and unwholesome thoughts. Yes, I am going to this supposed to be Buddhist country – a little more Mindfulness away from distracting thoughts!

I am on the way to Sri Lanka bit of a tongue twister of a name – this messy nation – wouldn’t listen to anybody, now run by gays other weirdoes – easily blackmail able material – a fleeting thought imagine what we did to Dominque Strauss Kahn that socialist upstart wanting to be the chief of IMF! This country Sri Lanka– for 500 years my Catholic forefathers tried to bring the true faith but to no avail. This time we will teach them a lesson. There is a village headman, a docile simple-minded villager, now in the post of the President. He is good material – very malleable –ha ha! He looked a schoolboy in front of the Headmaster when he met Cameron. This guy even had goose bumps touching queens ungloved hand and he had bragged about it to his minions!

Yes, in this place, although a negligible minority, the Catholic Church has a firm hold. They even managed to stop the book Da Vinci Code being sold there. Only country other than Solomon Islands to do so! Where is this Solomon islands – that country of former cannibals and head hunters just north east of Australia. I know the area – I was in Vietnam. They did their work to get rid of the previous President; bringing his downfall through his Catholic wife and baptized sons. Catholic Church has already done most of the preliminary work. Yes, I am feeling proud to be a Catholic – well this place the Catholic Action of the Jesuits still in full swing – they failed once in 1962 this time they have done it – Perhaps propose Chandrika – they call her the Robber Queen for a Nobel Prize – what an indefatigable lot our Catholic Chruch – evangelization in full swing in the hinterland – I feel proud and comfortable coming to give the seal of approval to the new administration and to get Sri Lanka firmly in the American camp – firmly under an able Christian Leadership. This is our stepping-stone to evangelize and then balkanize India.

The United Christian Party is in power in Sri Lanka albeit by a palace coup! Coups although old fashioned are still part of American arsenal – now much advanced with sweeteners such as Democracy, Human Rights, Right to Protect now commonplace and part of the American arsenal. These guys have found another one – Yaha Palanaya ! This is something I can take back to America. Now what is needed is the groundwork to consolidate the gains. I have to emphasize that they should keep Ranil- as the Prime Minister although his attempt to transfer all power to himself has failed. He tried his level crude best, but to no avail – these Sinhala Buddhists saw through it all. The bungling lot. If they don’t get under our wing we will give them democracy – a la Iraq – a la Afghanistan – a la Libya!

This trip another feather in my cap! I will promise them a visit from Obama. Gay boys Mangala and Ranil will have wet-dreams! Ha Ha

Good Morning and Aayubowan Sri Lanka!